A male friend of mine was buying a large bag of dog food and encountered the following while in the checkout line:
The woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I
was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because
I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete
so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was
enthralled with my story, particularly the guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting
in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard
as he staggered out the door
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9 comments:
That is absolutely hilarious!!!
Makes mental note....I have to use that sometime!!!
that was the best shit ever.. Me gusta
That's hysterical. Reminds me of a time I was at a mall with a work-friend at lunch. We sat on a bench, eating ice cream, and an old woman squeezed in between us. My friend, a woman much younger than me, started to crack up. I launched into a made-up story, riffing on the spot, about my wife and I coming home to discover my stepson in bed with the male lover we didn't now he had ... and on and on. All untrue, and not that it's a bad thing, but the old woman finally gave me a look and got up and left.
Thanks everyone, I had to grab a new pair of Depends after hearing the story as well.
http://tinyurl.com/onyyc
not sayin' it isn't funny, but it isn't such a new joke either...
Thanks Anon. I didn't think my friend came up with an original story but I thought it funny enough to share. So have many others as you have pointed out.
Mea Culpa, no harm intended
I like the story that was made up better than if he'd just said, "Here's your sign."
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