Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Robots: Rosie Versus the Roomba

This past Christmas, all my Mother wanted was a Roomba a robotic vacuum cleaner. You have to keep in mind that my Mom is neither a spring chicken nor computer savvy. Ditto for my Dad.

So we did what all good children do, we pooled our dollars and purchased the Roomba. While my Mom was quite pleased, the rest of us were quietly grumbling. It is very difficult to teach your parents how to master new gadgets, triple hard if said contraptions are computerized.

A couple weekends ago I was visiting the family and was called upon to teach Mom how to use the Roomba. Unfortunately, she waited until a couple of hours before I was to head back home so all I could really do was insert the battery and set it up to be charged for sixteen hours. I was able to go over the instructions with her. When I read to her that the Roomba would take 45 minutes to vacuum one room, she was not pleased. She thought that the Roomba was going to rival good ole Rosie from the Jetsons.

She assumed that the Roomba would go back and forth in a room a few times and bing, bang boom the room would be dust free. When I explained to my parental units that the Roomba would need to detect dirt and dust and oh by the way they would definitely have to clear the piles of stuff on every square inch of the floors for the thing to be effective, they all but kicked me out of the house.

It was right about then that I remembered why I live an hour and a half away. Sometimes my brilliance amazes even me.

The following Monday, my Mom called me at work with a lilt in her tone. I asked her what was up and she could not stop talking about her new friend Roomba. It appears that my BIL went over after it was charged and he spent a few hours making sure she and my Dad learned the ins and outs of the Roomba.

Miraculously, the machine was able to clean like a charm albeit slowly. But you know what? The parental units are rather slow by now too, so it all works out in the wash. (Pun entirely intended) So the Sisters Wicked scored big time with this year’s gift and Mom AND Dad are happy. Trust me. This is very difficult to achieve.

The Roomba has saved the day. She invites her friends over in small groups to demonstrate the thing and aks why their children are not as generous. (“P” if you are reading this, I apologize in advance!)

Behold, my new favorite family member:

Photobucket Roomba. Although my Mom has given it a human name, as long as she is happy and neither of them breaks a hip tripping over it.

Last I checked, my Dad was trying it out as an electric coaster. I had to remind him that it is a computer that probably should not try to balance drinks on top of it.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

A Dose of Culture


Heading out to the Kennedy Center for Performing Arts for our yearly dose of refinement.

Last year the Sisters Wicked along with Lil Wicked were embarrassingly shushed by an octogenarian with a newly installed hearing aide battery. We honestly were not that loud. We quietly were trying to explain the complicated plot twist of the ballet Othello to Lil Wicked. The gentleman in front of us was not so understanding.

Today we have the privilege of seeing the Kirov Ballet perform. This time around I have sent a synopsis of the ballet to each of the attendees so that we may keep our whispering to a strict minimum.

Wish us luck or have bail money ready. You never really know once we are all unleashed in public together.

Monday, January 21, 2008


“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” MLK

I want you to consider this the next time you think about not speaking out on an issue that comes to your attention. Those of you with the day off, at least take a moment to remember Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

In Honor fo Blonde Follicles

(Listen, I’ve got nothing. However, this one made me snort out loud - enjoy!)

A fellow wanted his porch painted so he got several bids. The lowest bid came from a blonde. Her bid was so much less than the other bids but the man was reluctant to give her the job. But after his wife gave him a hard time about being sexist, he decided to have the blonde paint his porch.

When she arrived the next morning he said “There might not be enough paint to paint the entire porch, so if you run low, just let me know and I’ll go to the paint store to buy more.”

A few hours later the blonde rang his doorbell and said “I just wanted to let you know that I’m finished with the job and there was plenty of paint left over. By the way, just in case you didn’t know, that’s a Lexus not a Porsche.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Intractable Times

Friends, how are you doing with those resolutions? Hmmm? Me neither.

After about twenty minutes into my first new year shift, they were all blown to H-E double hockey sticks! (Aha! I kept that one, score.)

Not sure what is going on with the weather but I can tell you that I am enjoying the short clad Fed Ex deliveries. Am I right ladies? It was seventy something degrees today, January 8, Metro DC.

WT H-E double hockey sticks?

Global warming or Mama Nature going through The Change? I vote menopause.


Wednesday, January 02, 2008

New Year’s Poll

God (and HR Departments) gave us sick days.

Why oh why do those that are infectious show up at work and infect the rest of us??????