Monday, May 26, 2008

Memorial Day


Memorial Day Weekend traditionally marks the beginning of summer. However, during your upcoming celebrations, stop and think about the true meaning of the day, which is to honor those who in uniform who have given what Lincoln called "the last full measure of devotion."

Unlearned Lesson

Memorial Day
Of every year
The little valiant
Flags appear
On every fallen
Soldier's grave--
Symbol of what
Each died to save.
And we who see
And still have breath--
Are we no wiser
For their death?

~Dorothy Brown Thompson~

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Bawk, BAWK

Why did the chicken cross the road?
(I can only take credit for passing this one along - enjoy!)

The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The
chicken wanted CHANGE!

My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the
need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the
other side of the road!

When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross
the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure --
right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the
chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about

*_DR. PHIL:_*
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he
must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it
goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to
do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why
he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken
learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm
going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the
road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want
to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken
is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite
image of the chicken crossing the road...

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet
been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against
it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in
his eyes and the way he walks.

To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

To die in the rain. Alone.

Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?'
That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken
is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other
side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain
and as simple as that.

In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in

I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new
platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% .........

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of

I invented the chicken!

Did I miss one?

Where's my gun!

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Knowledge is Power, Not in this Case

I am extremely happy to report that my Father did very well and is now at home.

He is in his early eighties, a physician and this was his first (and last we hope) major surgery in his lifetime. I won’t go into all the sordid details of the surgery but I will tell you he was released with 50 staples holding his mid to lower back together. I can also share that every person from orderly, food service personnel, nurses’ aides/ assistance, nurses, physical and occupational therapists, physicians’ assistants, nurse practitioners and his Surgeon treated him like royalty. We spent the better part of a week at Washington Hospital Center. As a person who also works in the health care community, I can report that I noticed most everyone that works there seems quite content with their job. Not an easy feat in any work environment. Now some might argue that my Father received preferential treatment since Brain Surgeon works there however there were countless personnel who had no idea who he was other than another patient in the facility. Hats off to the staff at WHC, my Father’s experience was a good one.

It is widely known that medical people make the worst patients. In my Father’s case, he was waiting for every negative outcome to occur instead of focusing on the positives. Considering all the possible post operative negatives that could have transpired, he was only subjected to a few. The main obstacle was his projectile vomiting episode late into the night following his surgery. Unfortunately for her, this took place on Brain Surgeons watch. She took the first night of bedside care of my Father. She had to work the next day she figured that would make the best sense. Needless to say, she got zero sleep that night and had to go to pull her normal 13 hour shift the next day.

My Father refused to use his narcotic delivery pump for fear that he would be hooked on morphine. Several times during my shifts with him I seriously gave thought to figuring out how to hook that pump into my arm. (I kid! Well, I did have the recurring thoughts...)During his immediate pre-op interview, he was asked what his allergies were? My Father listed them in the following order: lard, MSG, penicillin and sulfa drugs. I am very sure there was not going to be any sprinkling of MSG into the incision nor lard used to flush out an IV line. I guess he wanted cover all his bases. Even in his post-op haze, he was able to explain to anyone within an earshot of the evils of MSG and how any item in the clear liquid post-op diet included the dreaded ingredient. That on top of the projectile vomiting kept him from ingesting anything by mouth besides tea.

All that aside, he was up and walking around as was ordered and things are going very well. He is at home recuperating and so far his biggest complaints are constipation and incontinence. Both should calm down as the anesthesia metabolizes out of his body. My Mother is having more than a bit of anxiety as she is no longer the center of attention, but they will have to work that out. I love my Mother but we have created a monster. (Another post for another time.)

Thank you all for the well wishes, thoughts, prayers and e-mails. I know each and every one of them helped all of us.

Sunday, May 11, 2008


I need to ask you all a huge favor.

My Father is going in for major surgery tomorrow and I need all the good thoughts the Interwebs can spare. The sisters Wicked will be on full time care for the next week. Maternal Countessa will be with our Mom and Brain Surgeon and I will be with Dad. I have taken leave from work for as long as needed and BS will be pulling double duty as the surgery will take place in her hospital and while she is not on duty she will at Dad’s bedside along with me.

Don’t forget to call your Mom’s today or remember them as the case may be.

You all try to be good while I am away, if you cannot be good at least make me proud!

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Dear Springtime Cyclist:

Dude! Listen, I am all for everyone embracing the fabulous weather and exercising. Truly, kudos to you.

However, some things are better left to the imagination. Seriously, green mylar micro-mini shorts with birken stocks is not appropriate in any situation let alone outdoor cycling. Believe me when I tell you that more clothes are needed when exposing your self to the ultra violet waves and the public for the first time.

Are you familiar with the term snowblind? Yes, that much glare is not healthy for you or the general public. Cover up, wear suitable shoes for biking and please, don’t forget your helmet.

Hugs and Kisses

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Nip Tuck, Part Deux

If you’ve been here a while, you are familiar with my very limited ability with technology. A web designer I am not. Trust me when I tell you that besides having the ability to throw posts and the occasional picture on this site, hyperlinks still intimidate me. When I received an offer for a re-design, I jumped at the chance.

Friends, I’d like to share with you my new design. A little blog botox here some color enhancement there and we now have a beautiful look. Kudos to my Web Mistress Lissa. She is a very talented writer and photographer. She is thinking of doing web design as a part time gig. If she needs a reference, she will certainly receive a glowing one from me.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

All Good Dogs Go to Heaven


Still missing you terribly even after 2 years.

Nope not ready to move on. We will see each other again, one day.....