Sunday, February 26, 2012

Advice from Aunt Wicked

Dear First Love of Lil Wicked:

Let me start off by saying that when I became an Aunt for the first time, I was delighted in seeing the world through Lil Wicked's eyes. I have to say that the past month has been gut wrenching watching my niece experience her first heart ache.

So First Love, I have some advice for you. I am a firm believer that it is better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all. That being said, watching how you are behaving during the end of this romance has me concerned for your future relationships. Trust me First Love, Lil Wicked is going to come out of this stronger than she went into it and most certainly wiser and with her pride at it's highest. You on the other hand are setting yourself up for failure each and every time. Be a "man" and either give each other the closure you both deserve or shut it down entirely. Let me be blunt, stop texting my niece and then act like she is invisible during school.

Lil Wicked has been more than supportive of your inability to communicate. She has gone above and beyond while you remain weak and passive. I feel sorry for you. Although I don't exactly know what spurred the end of the relationship, I have a pretty good idea. Your silence and inaction's speak volumes.

Grow a pair and handle your demons as they come otherwise you will become a bitter and lonely boy/man. There are many facets to growing up and the sooner you learn how to navigate the waters, the easier the process will be.

She doesn't know it yet but Lil Wicked will come out of this just fine. She has an excellent support system. I wish the same for you, truly.

Love and kisses - Aunt Wicked

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

Career Change

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork. He was burned out. Hoping to try another career, where skillful hands would be beneficial; he decided to become a mechanic.

He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam, with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.

Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result; but I wonder if there is an error in the score?"

"The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly; which was worth 50% of the total score. You put the engine back together again perfectly; which is also worth 50%, of the score." After a pause, the instructor added; "I gave you an extra 50%, because you did it all through the muffler; which I've never seen done in my entire career".