Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Perhaps It’s Just Me

I am sitting here trying to enjoy American Idol now that I am allegedly viewing the most talented bunch in the history of the show.

Eh, not so much. I am not feeling it. At. All.

May I have the envelope please? AI has officially jumped the shark as far as I am concerned.

Thoughts, concerns? Does anyone really know what time it is? Does anyone really care?


Monday, February 25, 2008

Worth the Price of Admission

Since I haven’t seen a single movie up for Oscar nomination, I prefer to watch the red carpet coverage on E!

I just watched Gary Busey completely ruin the interview between Ryan Seacrest and Jennifer Garner. I hope they show a clip on You Tube. In short, Gary pretty much accosted Ms. Garner’s neck in mid interview. She had no idea who Gary Busey was, she was pretty traumatized. I am not sure who was more terrorized, Jennifer or Ryan.

My recommendation to Mr. Busey is to drop by one of many rehab centers available to him. If you cannot time your drugs perfectly, it is definitely time to check into rehab.

I notice that my martini glass is empty, I am dashing off for a refill.

If you are going to watch the Oscars, enjoy!

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Anatomy of an Idiot

Seriously, this could not have worked out better if I had a hand in it myself. Sadly, I can take no credit. It does make me mindful of something my Grand Mother used to say “dream big in case it comes true!”

Truth be told, I had completely gotten over the inconsequential gnat. I am a mature woman who honestly has been through every bizarre mind trip a work place can throw at you. So this twit stopped being a blip on my radar a good 2 months ago. Sure, her grandiosely immature ways bugged the living poop right out of me in the beginning. However, once I realized her existence was the destruction of my otherwise serene workplace, I simply put my good coping skills in gear and poof, she mattered not.

Watching her wield her moronic scenarios became rather entertaining. Puppetry of the Pinhead, would have made great theater. Actually I was a bit dejected watching others fall all over themselves to make her demands come true. Maybe dejected is the wrong word, cynical might be better.

In any case, in the end the white hats win and all is much better in the workplace. One would have to take the understated hint when confronted with the absolute demonstration of glee from two otherwise very controlled professionals. If I am not mistaken, there was a slight glint when I was told the replacement would begin Monday.

Good riddance, don’t let your navi fail you on the way out of town.


Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Smelly Turns One!

What is the perfect present for a one year old?


Tissue paper!!!

Everyone, join me in wishing my niece a very happy birthday and all the tissue paper she can destroy.

Monday, February 04, 2008

“Who’s on First,” the 2008 Version

(Listen, if anyone knows who the original author is buy him/her a beer and put it on my tab)

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:


ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.


COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.


COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?


COSTELLO: For my office?


COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Window's.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?


COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?


(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on 'START'