Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Absorbency Trip

When I graduated from high school one of my gifts was a trip to visit our relatives over seas. I was going to spend 3 months there. This would be my first time traveling that distance alone. I was very excited.

Figuring out what one might need for 3 months turned out to be more of a challenge than I expected. I decided to take the safe route and bring everything I would need. I am not a high maintenance female but there are certain products you get used to and I wasn’t sure if I’d find exactly what I needed while on my excursion. So I made sure I had a 3 month supply of hygiene products as well as other stuff.

My Father thinks he is the King of luggage packing. He offered to pack my suitcases for me. The catch, he wanted me to sit there and observe his efforts. It seemed silly to me so I left him alone to pack up my stuff. I also declined the final inspection of the King’s work, if he is the King I trust him. Why not?

When I arrived at my destination I knew that my suit cases would be searched in Customs. The Customs agent asked me to open up my luggage. In an effort to be expedient, I flipped the suit case facing him, unlocked them, unzipped them and opened them so that the lids were up towards me. He had full access to my stuff. I have never seen anyone shut a suit case so fast. His face was red and he could not look me in the eyes. He marked an X on both bags and waived me through. I figured I would not tempt fait and ask what the problem was so I went and reunited with my relatives.

It was later that night when I began to unpack that I realized the Custom agent’s dilemma. You see the King layered both of my suitcases with my 3 month supply of feminine hygiene products. Back then they were not inconspicuously packaged. They were on top in their full gory. The agent was mortified.

Hey, it got me through Customs in a flash. You better believe any other trip I took I made sure the top layer was riddled with unmentionables. Long live the King!!

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

It’s a Religion...

At the risk of being Dooced, I want to make it clear that I have witnessed verbal approval before writing this post. All parties involved have approved my re-telling this story.

The other day while at work, a group of us were discussing the American Idol competition. Since none of us were too savvy when it came to remembering the actual names of the participants we used specific descriptors to further our discourse. For example: Serial Killer = Scott Savol, Wacky Haired Lady = Nadia Turner, Greek Dude = Constantine Maroulis, Country Girl = Carrie Underwood - you get the idea. So I declared that the Dread Locked Music Teacher (Anwar Robinson) would win.

From that point our conversation took a strange turn and what follows is our exchange:

Co-Worker 1 (CW1): Who started the whole dread lock craze anyway?

Wicked: Not sure, but I remember when Bo Derek made it all the rage during the movie “10”.

Co-Worker 2 (CW2): Never heard of the movie.

Wicked: What?!? How old are you anyway? (Figuring out that I am on the high end of the median age range in our office, I quickly dropped the age reference)

CW1: It’s a religious thing isn’t it?

CW2: What? The movie?

CW1: No, the dread locks. The Rosh Hashanians started it.

Wicked: Excuse me? (Snorting the entire time)

CW1: What? That’s what they are called!

CW2: Blink, blink...blink

Wicked: You mean the Rastafarians?

CW1: Whatever, Rosh Hashanian - Rastafarian. You knew what I meant....

CW2: Well I think I might ask the 2 Jewish doctors in our practice why they aren’t following the traditional hairstyle of the Rosh Hashanians?

CW1: Bite me!

So anyway...go Anwar!!! To my Jewish friends, who knew????

Sunday, March 20, 2005

This Thing Called Blogging

I mentioned when I first started my blog that I was way behind the times. Apparently so is the general media public. I read in today’s Washington Post Magazine what trendsetters we bloggers are.

Imagine that. Me, a trendsetter? Not hardly. I am amazed and humbled at the number of new friends I have made since starting my blog. I am also quite amused at the number of lurkers and stalkers I have acquired. I am going to have to guess that the lurkers visit because they find my writing/ranting entertaining. I have my own theories on why the stalkers persist. No matter, glad you have so much free time on your hands.

I am proud to be compared to the talented writers out there, these are the Magazine’s words not mine. This is a fun way for me to be creative, rant, amuse or whatever my heart desires. For those of you who visit regularly, glad to have you for whatever your reasons are.

Monday, March 14, 2005

Compassionate Mermaid

Dexter, my 12 year old golden retriever, has recently started showing signs of aging. I am pretty sure his hearing is almost gone. He can still process loud noises, in fact they make him skittish. Otherwise he is not hearing up to par – if that is the worst of his aging then he and I can be real thankful.

I spent the weekend with my 9 year old niece, Little Mermaid. Half of the time we were at my Mom and Dad’s house. Saturday evening after dinner, Little Mermaid, her parents and I were going to leave and head to the movies. Then I would spend that night at her house. Dexter was going to stay at my parent’s house.

As the rest of us were getting our coats on, Little Mermaid went over to Dexter to say good bye. He was laying quietly on one of my Mom’s love seats, his snout in between his front paws. He was watching Mermaid with his eyes. She decided since he could not hear she would pantomime our agenda. So I watched her “act” out our itinerary. Dexter’s eyes were following her arm movements and gestures very carefully. She used her fingers to show how we would be walking out the door and used the standard charades symbol for watching a movie. When she was done, she kissed him on the head and assured me that he completely understood and okayed our plans.

I love that kid!!

Note to Self!

In the future, refrain from buying toothpaste and hair product that are the same color. Also, NEVER keep them next to each other in the medicine cabinet.

It’s looks my week is off to a great start. Any ideas on ho to get the hair gel taste and it’s memory out of my mouth? Yuk!

It can only get better from here….right?

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Deja Vu?

I remember hearing this joke and laughing hysterically when the comedian delivered the punch line. I can't for the life of me recall which comedian told the joke. Imagine my surprise when the exact scenario played itself out in real life.

The other day I was on the Metro and I happened to be sitting on a newspaper, unknowingly of course. After a few stops, a man tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I was reading the paper. That is when the joke and it's punch line raced to the forefront of my brain. So I told the gentleman that yes in fact I was reading the paper. I got up turned the page and sat back down. He was either dumb founded or thought keep away from that whack job!

I giggled the rest of my time on the train.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

You're So Vain....

....You probably think this post is about you.

Keep thinking.