Thursday, December 31, 2009

A Toast....

Here’s to the new year...
May it bring more joy and success
And less grief and regret.

To our dreams...
May we never stop believing in them
And taking the actions that will make them a reality.

To our friends, loved ones, associates (or colleagues)...
May we take the time to let them know
How much it means to us
To have them in our lives.

Let us encourage more and criticize less,
Give more and need less.
And whenever we can,
Let us create harmony and peace.

To new beginnings...
Let us start fresh, right now,
To make this the very best year ever.

A very Happy New Year to all of us!

J. Fuchs


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Tuesday, December 22, 2009

This Greeting Has Been Cleared by my Attorney

(This has been posted by me before, we are in a recession!)

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From me ("the wishor") to you ("the wishee") please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I wish you a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that:-

This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal.

This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishor are acknowledged.

This greeting implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement any of the wishes.

This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishor.

This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.

The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor. Any references in this greeting to "The Lord", "Father Christmas", "Our Savior", "Rudolph the red nosed reindeer" or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.

This greeting is made under United States Law.

Dated this 22nd day of December two thousand and nine.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

When the Going Gets Tough.....

....I whip out the martini shaker.

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Welcome to the Snowpocolypse of 2009. First round is on me.

Looks like Christmas will be white!

Cheers.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Holiday Humor

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The man from Nova Scotia fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.

The man from Saskatchewan reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells. "Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates."

The Newfoundlander started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The Newfie replied, "These are Carols."

Sunday, December 13, 2009

I Am An Aunt x 3

Cigars for everyone!

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Behold, Tantrum Tilly and her new sister.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Reactionary Tantrums

Tantrum Tilly

Staring this Friday, I will be spending quality bonding time with my currently youngest niece. Soon to be an older sister, she is having a bit of an adjustment reaction to the arrival of her younger sibling.

Tantrum Tilly, as we will call her for these purposes, is in store for nonstop craft action while in my care. My bag of tricks may last all of twenty minutes. She is too young to motivate positively by reminding her that the big fat guy in the red suit is making lists and checking them twice.

So I ask you, ole wise Interwebs, how shall I distract and or amuse Tilly for 3 days.

Any and all ideas are most welcome.

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Creative Holiday Carolling

I haven't done the research. Don't ask me which group this is, I am simply paying it forward.

All I know is that after years of performing this tune, I am thoroughly impressed by this rendition.

Allow me to pass on the Silent Monks. Enjoy!