Sunday, September 30, 2007

Subtle Incongruity

The separation of wheat from chaff is in full force and the neurotics are now basically laying in wait. They have gone from full blown parading to curling up into the fetal position.

It’s an odd thing to watch. I have lived this process for the third time now. It came close to killing me the last time but since then I have become stronger. I am of the mind set of keeping my nose to the grind stone and watching the story board develop.

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Soon there will be many horses riding into this sunset. Let the conversions begin.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Closeness only Counts in Horseshoes

Thank goodness because this:

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is no where near what mine looks like. I don’t have all those pesky shelves.

Next time I announce I am going on vacation, someone remind me of this.

So, how are things with all of you?

Monday, September 24, 2007

Reality, Bring It!

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Okay. I have returned, refreshed, relaxed and ready to tackle whatever comes my way.

There were plenty of Merman eye candy to ogle(I only looked, did not touch), miles of beach to hike and an endless supply of libations to ingest. Seriously, isn’t this what vacations are all about?

I hear that you all complied with my request of behaving. SHAME on ALL of you. I was so looking forward to reports of tomfoolery and debauchery. No such luck. Must I do everything?

Friday, September 14, 2007

Merman Wanted, Inquire Within

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It has been 45 days since my last vacation. Although I thoroughly enjoyed McMansion sitting with Google the Wonder dog, I am very excited to be heading off to the Beach.

Once again, I have no itinerary. That is simply how I roll. Besides getting myself to my destination, the rest of my beach week has no schedule. I will spend most of the daylight hours under the sun in front of the surf listening to my tunes, reading, dozing, consuming libations and if there is available eye candy to ogle, then that shall be done as well. My twilight hours will be spent in total relaxation on one of two balconies available to me; one facing the ocean the other the bay. Any time spent on the balconies of course will involve sipping cocktails while listening and watching the ocean and purging my mind of all things.

The Beach is my sanctuary. So pardon me while I go off for a week long sabbatical.

You kids behave yourselves. I am counting on you. Okay, how about this? Don’t do anything, I wouldn’t do.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Because Sometimes Self Amusement is Recommended

(Okay, first get your minds out of the gutter!)

What have you got to lose? Just try it.

This will boggle your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but, you can't. It's pre-programmed In your brain!

Without anyone watching you (they will think you are GOOFY......)and while sitting where you are at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make Clockwise Circles.

Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your Right Hand. Your foot will change direction.

And there's nothing you can do about it!

You are going to try it again, if you've not already done so but the results will be the same.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Thursday, September 06, 2007

The Bird Feeder

This post is not meant to spread hate. As the product of a set of parents who emigrated to this country legally, the latest protests and such hit a nerve with me. My blog, my opinion.

I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it is as I filled it lovingly with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.

But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.

Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table...everywhere!

Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket.

And others birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio.

Soon, the back yard was like it used to be...quiet, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.

Now let's see..... our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, and free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.

Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor.

Illegals are also squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.

Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder. If you agree, pass it on; if not, continue cleaning up the poop!

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

In My Day, An Apple Would Do....

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher.

The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.
The candy store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.
Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box.

The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit.
She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.

"Is it wine?" she guessed.
"No," the boy replied.

She tasted another drop and asked, "Champagne?"
"No," the boy replied.

She tasted another drop and asked, "Scotch Whiskey?"
"No," said the little boy............ "It's a puppy!"

School is back in session. Just a friendly reminder to be alert while driving in the mornings. None of us likes to be stuck behind the school busses but we ALL have to follow the rules.

Kids are the future, lets keep them safe.