Monday, August 14, 2006

Dear Neighborhood Squirrels:

Nothing soothes me more than sitting on my deck and watching you all perform acrobatic feats to obtain the seeds from the many bird feeders on my deck. It’s therapeutic.

I am writing today to lodge a complaint. I have painstakingly harvested four tomato plants on my deck this season. It was part of my self imposed therapy after my dog passed away. Without that project, I may not have even stepped out onto the deck all summer for that was where Dexter and I spent much quality time. I am giving you all these details because I do not appreciate you and your friends having a green tomato smorgasbord.

I was not amused to see the three of you perched on my deck rails each with a tomato. Listen to me; bird’s seed feast very good tomato fest not so much. This is your one and only warning to cease and desist. Let me enjoy my tomato harvest. Remember, it has more meaning than a bunch of vegetation.

I’ve got my eyes on you.


wallofdenial said...

Our tomato plants burned up this year,,Get em green and let ripen in a window sill....and then send me some. The heat killed mine!

Washington Cube said...

At least you didn't hear tiny paws tapping at your door, asking for bread and mayo so they could make a sandwich. :x

Wicked H said...

Dave: if I can salvage the crop from my furry friends, it's a deal.

Cube: So true, I must always seek out the silver lining.

Amy said...

I think I might have enjoyed that more than the huge, green, worm/caterpillar (sp.) things that ate most of our tomatos the year we grew them. That was both horrifying and irritating at the same time.

BTW - had no idea you could ripen tomatos in the window sill, what a great idea!

HotForSimon said...

I've got a direct line to the ruler of all squirrels...hopefully daddy will do something about it.