Monday, December 31, 2007

Like Sands Through the Hour Glass

It did not seem like at the time, but 2007 passed by quickly. Its time again to reflect, count blessings and move into the future.

2007 was filled with many memorable moments, most of which were documented. The most powerful milestone for me was losing my Black Sheep status. It is a lengthy story, I am now ready to document it here since the weight of it has been lifted literally and figuratively. I will make it a priority to share early in the new year. I don’t want to focus on it now other than to say that the light couldn’t shine any brighter. That was one long ass tunnel.

I continued with the tradition I started a couple years prior; I eliminated those in my life who yielded useless drama. There is a reason I am single with no dependants and those people in my life who don’t understand the importance of that need not take up space. Self preservation for a nurturer/caretaker is nonexistent. I have finally figured out a way to keep a circle of genuine folks and friends in my life. Better late than never.

I hope 2008 brings nothing but good health and much happiness to us all.

I found this quote from Bono I’d like to leave you with:

“Here’s to the future! The only limits are the limits of our imagination. Dream up the kind of world you want to live in, dream out loud, at high volume.”

Happy New Year!!


Thursday, December 27, 2007

Santa, the Postlude

Santa was very good to the Family Wicked. No complaints.

Who am I kidding? It’s a Blog. It’s destined for complaints. The gift exchange was quite nice. No family arguments and everyone felt the holiday spirit. The problem was that 3/5 of the family was over wrought with the nastiest cold virus this side of the North Pole.

Currently, I am the only one not battling the Plague. I am over dosing myself with vitamin C and Zinc and every homeopathic remedy I can get my hands on. It’s up to my immune system at this point. I am hopeful. Although when I got the call that Brain Surgeon succumbed to the germs, I got worried.


The woman works in a hospital where germs are a plenty, if she can’t fight off the little buggers the rest of us are doomed. Of course it did not help that we all shared the two dainty towels in the powder room. Those things were petri dishes having a germ festival. I made the conscious decision to use my pants to dry my hands instead of the towels. We are a medical family, you’d think we would have taken better precautions.

I blame Rudolph and his damned red nose!

Friday, December 21, 2007

This Greeting Has Been Cleared by My Attorney

(I am nothing if not politically correct - HA!)

From me ("the wishor") to you ("the wishee") please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I wish you a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that:-

This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal.

This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishor are acknowledged.

This greeting implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement any of the wishes.

This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishor.

This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.

The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor. Any references in this greeting to "The Lord", "Father Christmas", "Our Savior", "Rudolph the red nosed reindeer" or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.

This greeting is made under United States Law.

Dated this 21st day of December two thousand and seven.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Yes Wicked, There Is a Santa Claus

If I had an ounce of bah humbug left in me, today totally wiped those feelings clean.

This is what my CEO and CFO gave me for Christmas:

Added to that a very handsome bonus check and a lunch out.

I've been working at this job for almost six years and I can honestly say that good things come to those who wait. We had a recent change of the guard and I ended up on the right side of the street.

Even without the treats, life is good again.

Thanks Santa.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Crazed Shoppers, Parking Garage Tirades and Long Lines...OH MY!!!

Seriously, this is supposed to be a time of charity, kindness and gathering around the table with family remembering the good times and being grateful for the little things.

Nothing could be further from the truth. What has happened to all of us? I just don’t see how any of this is going to end well. Someone spike the eggnog. Eat, drink and be merry. Dammit!

Personally, I have avoided the full contact craziness that is Christmas shopping. I happily clicked my way to completion. Thank God Al Gore created the internet. ( I think there are pills for narcissists, I should hook Al up)

For those of you who still need some help turning those grimaces upside down, I leave you with this:

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Thursday, December 13, 2007

Ho Ho Ho....

...Ho my God! If I hear the phrase “I’ll just put it in my navi” one more time, one of the reindeer is being eliminated! Sorry Donner, you need to take one for the team.

Let me explain. Work has had a major overhaul and with it came some very wonderful leaders, new opportunities, trust me more great that not. However, it only takes one bad apple to ruin it for all.

Dear Santa:

All I want this year for Christmas is the ability to tune this bad apple out. I am the Queen of non-reaction but this one pushes every button I have, I am running out of patience and control.

I have been a very good girl this year. Well, you know. You see everything. Tell all the Elves they can give my share of the loot to someone more deserving. Just please, PLEASE give me the strength to deal with Miss Entitled. I am on my knees begging.

While I am asking, please also make sure that Lil Wicked and Smelly get everything on their list. They have both been even better than me.

Lots of Hugs and Kisses - Wicked H

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Best Shopping Related Conversation, Ever!

Pet Whisperer: Gah! I have not exercised in over three months.

Wicked H: Wow, that is very unusual for you.

Pet Whisperer: Groan...

Wicked H: Wait. Yes you have.

Pet Whisperer: When?

Wicked H: Each time you go out shopping. Full Contact Purchasing! It has to burn calories, especially during the Holiday Season!

Pet Whisperer: This is why I heart you. Now, I can have another glass of wine.

Wicked H: Cheers!

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Christmas Public Service Announcement

Hear Ye, Hear Ye....

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According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers
till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should've known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Elf YOU!!!

You must try this!

What the Elf?

And so it begins, Happy Holidays!!!

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Fakes Giving*

Hi all. Here at the Wicked Family compound due to scheduling conflicts we had to have our Thanksgiving one week and 3 days later.

I was the hostess with the mostess; literally and figuratively. (Ha! Sometimes I just crack myself up.) We each were responsible for different courses and if I must share with the Internet, we did a fine job. Lookout Iron Chefs, next year we take you on as a group.

Work is not getting easier, life goes on. I leave you with a practice shot of most of the family in preparation for the obligatory group photo. You all need to keep this secret, I promised everyone in this snap that I would not post on the interwebs.

Of course I had my fingers crossed, I am Wicked H and this is how I roll:

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There you go, a portion of the Family Wicked.

Talk to you all soon!

*title courtesy of Uncle Fun who is in the picture....