Things that me go hmmmmmmm?
Ever try to debate a personal topic with an individual who is so narcissistic that you would turn blue before he or she would admit to any wrongdoing? Frustrating. Thankfully, I have eliminated most of these types from my core pool. Unfortunately, for him/her, one tries valiantly to hang on.
Cryptic, you say? Damn straight, my Blog my style. If you aren’t intelligent enough to play along or amused enough to decipher some of my posts, I promise not to lose any sleep over it. Hope you do the same.
Once again, I digress. I’ve made a pact with my self to leave these deleterious types in my wake. Now if they are ignorant enough to tread the choppy waters, then I promise to make the journey as amusing as possible. Gratifying to me? You bet your ass.
Want to come along for the ride? Have I ever let you down before?
Monday, September 25, 2006
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Dear Trader Joe’s Patron:
All right. I am only going to say this once lady, pay attention.
If you have enough time to fondle every single melon in the display, then you most certainly have enough time to wait on line to pay for your perfect gourd. I cannot believe you were trying to play the “I am late to pick up my child” card when you spent 16 minutes palpating fruit. We all have busy lives and each of our minutes are just as precious as yours. If you are so late to pick up Junior, explain to me how you had the time to write a check for one item?
I almost offered to pay the grocery tab of the woman who would not let you go ahead of her in line. I did offer to give her one of my bottles of wine while I was walking back to my car. How did I know it took you 16 minutes to finalize your melon choice? You kept her from even looking at them.
There is a God and today she was staking her claim at Trader Joe’s.
If you have enough time to fondle every single melon in the display, then you most certainly have enough time to wait on line to pay for your perfect gourd. I cannot believe you were trying to play the “I am late to pick up my child” card when you spent 16 minutes palpating fruit. We all have busy lives and each of our minutes are just as precious as yours. If you are so late to pick up Junior, explain to me how you had the time to write a check for one item?
I almost offered to pay the grocery tab of the woman who would not let you go ahead of her in line. I did offer to give her one of my bottles of wine while I was walking back to my car. How did I know it took you 16 minutes to finalize your melon choice? You kept her from even looking at them.
There is a God and today she was staking her claim at Trader Joe’s.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
I've Got Nothing But This Joke Edition
A man and his wife are awakened, at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud
pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger,
standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember, about
three months ago when we broke down, And those two guys helped us? I think
you should help him, and you should be Ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding
rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes" comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?", calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband
"Over here on the swing!", replies the drunk
Made me chuckle while I am trying to find the top of my desk.....enjoy!
pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger,
standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember, about
three months ago when we broke down, And those two guys helped us? I think
you should help him, and you should be Ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding
rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes" comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?", calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband
"Over here on the swing!", replies the drunk
Made me chuckle while I am trying to find the top of my desk.....enjoy!
Monday, September 18, 2006
The Effects of Caffeine; Vacation VS Work
Why is it that while on vacation, I can consume a whole pot of coffee and not feel the least bit jittery? Yet, while at work after my second cup I start hyperventilating.
I don’t get it.
I don’t get it.
Ameliorated
I knew I was in dire need of a break before I left; the severity of my urgency became clear the second my toes hit the sand. I will not bore you with the details that lead to my epiphany. I will let you know that if I could figure out how to bottle up the response I have to being at the shore I would market it in an instant and retire early. Until then, I have made myself a promise to not let myself wait so long for the next break.
Although the weather was not great, the atmosphere and accommodations provided the respite I needed. I had full view of the ocean and the bay. The ability to watch the sun rise and set from the confines of a balcony with my favorite libation was the exact prescription I required.
I return insouciant and rejuvenated, ready to face whatever comes my way. Let the games begin.....
Although the weather was not great, the atmosphere and accommodations provided the respite I needed. I had full view of the ocean and the bay. The ability to watch the sun rise and set from the confines of a balcony with my favorite libation was the exact prescription I required.
I return insouciant and rejuvenated, ready to face whatever comes my way. Let the games begin.....
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Down the Ocean...Hon!
I am off to the Beach. How can you all miss me if I don’t go away?
Try to behave yourselves, I know how difficult that can be for some of you. I may be back soon or not. One never knows about these things.
I’ll leave you with a poem by Linda Harnett which best describes my reasons for escaping to the shore.
Oh, to be lying,
On a beach,
Somewhere,
With sand in my toes,
And the wind,
In my hair.
And only the sound,
Of the seagulls,
On high,
On a beach,
Somewhere,
Under sunny blue sky.
The gentle caress,
Of the waves,
On the shore,
Could I ask for more?
Try to behave yourselves, I know how difficult that can be for some of you. I may be back soon or not. One never knows about these things.
I’ll leave you with a poem by Linda Harnett which best describes my reasons for escaping to the shore.
Oh, to be lying,
On a beach,
Somewhere,
With sand in my toes,
And the wind,
In my hair.
And only the sound,
Of the seagulls,
On high,
On a beach,
Somewhere,
Under sunny blue sky.
The gentle caress,
Of the waves,
On the shore,
Could I ask for more?
Friday, September 08, 2006
Flowers for Algernon
I was hoping that this week was a representation of the play. Alas, it was not.
I was prepared to wax poetic about the injustices suffered by being surrounded by those with off the chart IQs. Instead I learned that ignorance is truly bliss. Next life I will return ignorant. The synapses that I have wasted attempting to be politically correct have been painful. Nay, excruciating. Charlie, I understand now.
If I have to repeat a week like this one ever again, then friends, I need to make reservations for a padded cell.
Thank the heavens the weekend is a few hours away. Any longer and I would not have made it.
I was prepared to wax poetic about the injustices suffered by being surrounded by those with off the chart IQs. Instead I learned that ignorance is truly bliss. Next life I will return ignorant. The synapses that I have wasted attempting to be politically correct have been painful. Nay, excruciating. Charlie, I understand now.
If I have to repeat a week like this one ever again, then friends, I need to make reservations for a padded cell.
Thank the heavens the weekend is a few hours away. Any longer and I would not have made it.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
On the Edge
These short work weeks, although good for the soul, really screw with my sense of keeping time. At work, I am a creature of habit. At home, not at all. We have a certain crew that rotates through my location certain days of the week. Fridays are usually the let’s all go out to lunch day. Yesterday we ended up with the usual Friday crew so of course we went out to lunch.
No matter what the stress level in the office, take us out of our element and not only are we going to have fun but so are most of the people within a 50 yard radius. We’re infectious, what can I say. (If you are interested and local, shoot me an e-mail and I’ll let you know where we are dining this Friday)
Today we noticed a very odd pairing of co-workers. We don’t know “for sure” if they were co-workers but all actions lead us to believe that scenario. We witnessed 4 of the homeliest women in Northern Virginia seated with an attractive man. Under normal circumstances, the group would not have drawn any attention. However, this group deserved recognition due to the body language of the alpha male. The booth they were seated in was basically in the shape of a circle, the booth itself elevated by one step. The women were bunched together chatting, laughing, conversing. The gentleman was at the end of this booth, seated at the farthest edge of the cushion with one foot one the floor. His posture reminded me of someone who was going to take off running. He looked painfully uncomfortable both physically and socially. He was not engaged in any of the conversations taking place at the booth, he was either watching one of the many TVs in the place or gazing in any direction but the booth itself. Before the women arrived, he spent about 10 minutes arranging the items strategically on top of the table; the salt and pepper shakers, catsup and the specials menu.
What can I say, there was a slight delay in receiving our food and I am a people watcher.
So what do you think was the deal with this man? He certainly was not there to enjoy the company.
No matter what the stress level in the office, take us out of our element and not only are we going to have fun but so are most of the people within a 50 yard radius. We’re infectious, what can I say. (If you are interested and local, shoot me an e-mail and I’ll let you know where we are dining this Friday)
Today we noticed a very odd pairing of co-workers. We don’t know “for sure” if they were co-workers but all actions lead us to believe that scenario. We witnessed 4 of the homeliest women in Northern Virginia seated with an attractive man. Under normal circumstances, the group would not have drawn any attention. However, this group deserved recognition due to the body language of the alpha male. The booth they were seated in was basically in the shape of a circle, the booth itself elevated by one step. The women were bunched together chatting, laughing, conversing. The gentleman was at the end of this booth, seated at the farthest edge of the cushion with one foot one the floor. His posture reminded me of someone who was going to take off running. He looked painfully uncomfortable both physically and socially. He was not engaged in any of the conversations taking place at the booth, he was either watching one of the many TVs in the place or gazing in any direction but the booth itself. Before the women arrived, he spent about 10 minutes arranging the items strategically on top of the table; the salt and pepper shakers, catsup and the specials menu.
What can I say, there was a slight delay in receiving our food and I am a people watcher.
So what do you think was the deal with this man? He certainly was not there to enjoy the company.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Carded
This week the school kids returned back to their routine. Not being a parent, I do enjoy hearing about the first day of school escapades.
One of the specialists I work with was sharing the tender moments of his daughter’s first ever day of school. He recounted the entire morning, from the time she awoke to the tearful goodbye of he and his wife as their daughter skipped into school oblivious to the heartache she was causing with her independence.
The Doc went on to explain that his daughter was very concerned about receiving a red card while riding the bus. Apparently, they dole out red cards to children who misbehave. Once they have accumulated enough red cards, I suppose their bus riding privileges disappear. I told him if that was the practice when I started school, I would have accumulated enough red cards to fill one of those contraptions they deal cards out of in Vegas.
He walked away horrified, mumbling that his daughter would never get into that kind of trouble. Well Doc, I don’t think any father plans for that but you may want to have a conversation with my dad.
I’m just sayin…….
One of the specialists I work with was sharing the tender moments of his daughter’s first ever day of school. He recounted the entire morning, from the time she awoke to the tearful goodbye of he and his wife as their daughter skipped into school oblivious to the heartache she was causing with her independence.
The Doc went on to explain that his daughter was very concerned about receiving a red card while riding the bus. Apparently, they dole out red cards to children who misbehave. Once they have accumulated enough red cards, I suppose their bus riding privileges disappear. I told him if that was the practice when I started school, I would have accumulated enough red cards to fill one of those contraptions they deal cards out of in Vegas.
He walked away horrified, mumbling that his daughter would never get into that kind of trouble. Well Doc, I don’t think any father plans for that but you may want to have a conversation with my dad.
I’m just sayin…….
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Toot Toot, Hey…. Beep Beep
MIT:Every Sunday night I wrack my brain to figure out a money making scheme to keep me from having to show up at work each Monday. How about you?
Wicked:Well I keep trying to be the E-Bay entrepreneur but things aren’t moving fast enough.
MIT:I hear you. Maybe we could be ladies of the evening?
Wicked:Yea, I am not sure my profit margin would be any better in that arena either.
MIT:We are older; I guess we’d be attracting the wrong clientele.
Wicked:Plus, is it really worth it?
MIT:You are right, with all the diseases, etc. We should stick to our toys and just show up to work every weekday.
Wicked:I hate it when you are right, Dammit!
Wicked:Well I keep trying to be the E-Bay entrepreneur but things aren’t moving fast enough.
MIT:I hear you. Maybe we could be ladies of the evening?
Wicked:Yea, I am not sure my profit margin would be any better in that arena either.
MIT:We are older; I guess we’d be attracting the wrong clientele.
Wicked:Plus, is it really worth it?
MIT:You are right, with all the diseases, etc. We should stick to our toys and just show up to work every weekday.
Wicked:I hate it when you are right, Dammit!
Friday, September 01, 2006
Bumbershoots and Galoshes
It doesn’t take much to screw up traffic in this area. Adding a tropical storm right in the middle of the Labor Day weekend will certainly cause all kinds of trouble.
You all be careful. Batten down the hatches and have a safe weekend.
You all be careful. Batten down the hatches and have a safe weekend.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Pierced Pepper Mills
I realize this requires much explanation. Pull up a chair get comfy....here we go.
First of all, does everyone have the pleasure of working with a fun bunch of crazies like I do? If you don’t, I feel for you, honestly.
We are a diverse group. If you saw us together in a non-festive situation, I am willing to bet that you wouldn’t believe we could have some wicked fun away from work. We do. We do indeed.
Last night started out customarily, a cohorts birthday celebration. Before I forget, I have three words for you: Key Lime Martini. Don’t question it, go out and try one and then get back to me. Thank God for sidekicks who like to bend a few while waiting for the rest of the gang. We are nothing if not entertaining. The Three Lushkateers!
We kept the bartender hopping, he looked a little bored before we arrived. I am sure that’s his take on the evening as well. Anyhoo, after 2 cocktails the rest of the party showed up and off we were ushered to a table in the rear of the establishment. Maybe our reputation preceded us? You never know.
It all started innocently enough, we are medically inclined so of course the conversation took a medicinal turn and before you know it we were trying to explain why anyone would pierce that part of his anatomy. Since I believe in visual aides and because we had an unusually odd shaped pepper mill on the table. Bing, bang boom, our straight laced associate got the picture and blushed the deepest shade of crimson you’ve ever seen. Good times!
It’s not a successful party until one of us is mortified.
So, what did you all do last night?
First of all, does everyone have the pleasure of working with a fun bunch of crazies like I do? If you don’t, I feel for you, honestly.
We are a diverse group. If you saw us together in a non-festive situation, I am willing to bet that you wouldn’t believe we could have some wicked fun away from work. We do. We do indeed.
Last night started out customarily, a cohorts birthday celebration. Before I forget, I have three words for you: Key Lime Martini. Don’t question it, go out and try one and then get back to me. Thank God for sidekicks who like to bend a few while waiting for the rest of the gang. We are nothing if not entertaining. The Three Lushkateers!
We kept the bartender hopping, he looked a little bored before we arrived. I am sure that’s his take on the evening as well. Anyhoo, after 2 cocktails the rest of the party showed up and off we were ushered to a table in the rear of the establishment. Maybe our reputation preceded us? You never know.
It all started innocently enough, we are medically inclined so of course the conversation took a medicinal turn and before you know it we were trying to explain why anyone would pierce that part of his anatomy. Since I believe in visual aides and because we had an unusually odd shaped pepper mill on the table. Bing, bang boom, our straight laced associate got the picture and blushed the deepest shade of crimson you’ve ever seen. Good times!
It’s not a successful party until one of us is mortified.
So, what did you all do last night?
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
And Your Point Is?
I have a huge problem when I encounter nepotism at the workplace. I do not, nor will I ever, believe that relatives should work in a situation where one is supervising the other. (My blog, my opinion. Don't like it, stop reading.) Similarly, I don’t believe that one should use a relative as their trump card in any type of work related issue.
This brings me to a recent conversation I somehow got entangled in while on the clock. Okay, who are we kidding, I live for moments like these:
(Scenario: 2 visitors from another site visiting my office recently)
Wicked: Hey, what’s up?
Coworker 1 (CW1): Wicked!! Whadya know girl?
Coworker 2 (CW2): Long time no see, what’s the scoop.
Wicked: Aw you know, always full of scoop. Pick a topic.
(For obvious reasons, I will not divulge the topic. I am not that stupid)
CW1: How about the recent excitement?
Wicked: What about it?
CW2: Oh, you know CW1 is related to a big shot.
Wicked: Really? Well I am related to my parents. What’s the point? If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
CW1 & 2: Blink....blink.....
Wicked: CW1 being related to a big shot means absolutely nothing to me. Not intimidated by it in the least. If CW1 doesn’t want to know my opinion of the recent events, then he shouldn’t have asked.
CW2: Good point. My bad.
( Funny how CW1 was intently listening to the exchange but not participating)
Wicked: Well you screwed up your chance to hear my opinion on the subject. Off you both go now. I am a busy woman.
CW1: Does this mean we are done discussing the excitement?
Wicked: In order to have a discussion, all parties must actively participate. Since you chose to abstain, we are through here.
CW2: Giggles
CW1: ......
Wicked: Have a nice day gentlemen. Y’all come back now, you here?
This brings me to a recent conversation I somehow got entangled in while on the clock. Okay, who are we kidding, I live for moments like these:
(Scenario: 2 visitors from another site visiting my office recently)
Wicked: Hey, what’s up?
Coworker 1 (CW1): Wicked!! Whadya know girl?
Coworker 2 (CW2): Long time no see, what’s the scoop.
Wicked: Aw you know, always full of scoop. Pick a topic.
(For obvious reasons, I will not divulge the topic. I am not that stupid)
CW1: How about the recent excitement?
Wicked: What about it?
CW2: Oh, you know CW1 is related to a big shot.
Wicked: Really? Well I am related to my parents. What’s the point? If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
CW1 & 2: Blink....blink.....
Wicked: CW1 being related to a big shot means absolutely nothing to me. Not intimidated by it in the least. If CW1 doesn’t want to know my opinion of the recent events, then he shouldn’t have asked.
CW2: Good point. My bad.
( Funny how CW1 was intently listening to the exchange but not participating)
Wicked: Well you screwed up your chance to hear my opinion on the subject. Off you both go now. I am a busy woman.
CW1: Does this mean we are done discussing the excitement?
Wicked: In order to have a discussion, all parties must actively participate. Since you chose to abstain, we are through here.
CW2: Giggles
CW1: ......
Wicked: Have a nice day gentlemen. Y’all come back now, you here?
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Watch Out Everyone!!!
Mother Nature is having a BAD day. If Mamma's not happy, aint nobody happy. Although, if she is flipping us off collectively perhaps she will be able to let it go.
I may just stay under the covers to be safe.
Monday, August 28, 2006
The Apple Never Falls Far From the Tree
The other day while driving back from a lunch outing with co-workers, we were involved in a spirited discussion. I was driving and actively participating in the debate. I noticed that my passengers got very quiet quickly. I asked them what was wrong. They in turn asked me why we were traveling so slowly while in the left lane.
Apparently, I am unable to partake in a spirited debate and follow the regular traffic laws simultaneously. Wait, it gets better. Ever since I can remember I have always criticized my Father for being unable of performing the exact same tasks.
So the lesson here folks is to be careful how you admonish your elders because here is the proof that it will indeed turn around and bite you in the ass.
Sorry Dad!
Apparently, I am unable to partake in a spirited debate and follow the regular traffic laws simultaneously. Wait, it gets better. Ever since I can remember I have always criticized my Father for being unable of performing the exact same tasks.
So the lesson here folks is to be careful how you admonish your elders because here is the proof that it will indeed turn around and bite you in the ass.
Sorry Dad!
Friday, August 25, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
When Pigs Fly
I have mentioned him ad nauseam. It seems Mr. I Posses an MBA but I cannot even take a basic H&P, is out pounding the pavement again. Thank the heavens GE wised up quick and asked him to be successful elsewhere.
This just in, he used the nepotism card and tried to strong arm a Northern VA hospital into hiring him. However, he was up against one major fatal flaw. You see the big wig Docs at his former place of employment could give a rats ass as to whether or not they play the politically correct HR card. So when his sister-in-law’s department head asked the key question “would you rehire this person if you had the chance?” The answer was an emphatic HELL NO.
Those of us who live in NOVA can now breath a great sigh of relief. I would not be surprised of this idiot and the Troll end up working in the same medical facility at some point.
Mamas don’t let your babies grow up to be treated by either. You can thank me later.
This just in, he used the nepotism card and tried to strong arm a Northern VA hospital into hiring him. However, he was up against one major fatal flaw. You see the big wig Docs at his former place of employment could give a rats ass as to whether or not they play the politically correct HR card. So when his sister-in-law’s department head asked the key question “would you rehire this person if you had the chance?” The answer was an emphatic HELL NO.
Those of us who live in NOVA can now breath a great sigh of relief. I would not be surprised of this idiot and the Troll end up working in the same medical facility at some point.
Mamas don’t let your babies grow up to be treated by either. You can thank me later.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
School Days, Update Your Booster Days…..
As the end of summer gets closer and closer, the number of school physicals grows exponentially. I have been recruited more of late to restrain or assist in the wrangling of kids who are in need of immunizations in order to attend school. As well as those kids who happen to be due their next round of inoculations.
Not being a parent myself, I throw these scenarios out there to any parents who might peruse my site. I have narrowed down the kids receiving their shots into a few categories; let me know what you think:
Stoic – these are the kids who have the look of terror in their eyes but remain quite still and receive their booster with little to no fuss. Typically the stoic child’s parent is more of a wreck than the child.
Petrified – these are the kids whose parent is talking them off the ledge the entire time. These parents are more than capable of keeping the child still so that the rest of us can move things along as quickly as possible. The petrified child will most likely cry but will not otherwise deter the needle from hitting its target.
Inconsolable – these are the kids whose parents most likely had terrible memories of receiving shots themselves. Typically, before I get into the room to help, the child is planning his/her escape or bartering for anything but the needle. Ear piercing screams accompanied by much arm flailing and leg kicking. We haven’t even uncapped the needle yet. The parent of this child most definitely cannot circumvent the movement of their offspring. The parent is so stressed out by the child’s reaction to the impending doom that not only do they not comprehend the instructions on how to comfort the child while three of us are preparing for battle, they are just not able to participate.
In my humble opinion, the parent’s of the inconsolable children just shouldn’t be in the room during the shots. It really makes the whole process more difficult, especially for the child. In defense of these school aged children; I don’t remember having to receive more than one shot a time as a kid. I have been in the room where the child can receive up to four inoculations at once. Talk about being stressed out; you certainly cannot blame the kid for being scared. We do our best to make the process as painless as possible but when faced with a child who is screaming bloody murder before we even enter the room and a parent who goes limp with indecision, things can go south quickly.
These are my observations. For the record, my own Mom would threaten me with a visit to the doctor for a shot anytime I misbehaved. Obviously, that wasn’t the smartest thing she has ever done but I most likely deserved those threats and many more that she may have missed. However, I was the stoic type of child. That is of course after my Mom had to catch me and get me in the car for the visit to the doctor. Once in public, we were only allowed to be stoic.
Not being a parent myself, I throw these scenarios out there to any parents who might peruse my site. I have narrowed down the kids receiving their shots into a few categories; let me know what you think:
Stoic – these are the kids who have the look of terror in their eyes but remain quite still and receive their booster with little to no fuss. Typically the stoic child’s parent is more of a wreck than the child.
Petrified – these are the kids whose parent is talking them off the ledge the entire time. These parents are more than capable of keeping the child still so that the rest of us can move things along as quickly as possible. The petrified child will most likely cry but will not otherwise deter the needle from hitting its target.
Inconsolable – these are the kids whose parents most likely had terrible memories of receiving shots themselves. Typically, before I get into the room to help, the child is planning his/her escape or bartering for anything but the needle. Ear piercing screams accompanied by much arm flailing and leg kicking. We haven’t even uncapped the needle yet. The parent of this child most definitely cannot circumvent the movement of their offspring. The parent is so stressed out by the child’s reaction to the impending doom that not only do they not comprehend the instructions on how to comfort the child while three of us are preparing for battle, they are just not able to participate.
In my humble opinion, the parent’s of the inconsolable children just shouldn’t be in the room during the shots. It really makes the whole process more difficult, especially for the child. In defense of these school aged children; I don’t remember having to receive more than one shot a time as a kid. I have been in the room where the child can receive up to four inoculations at once. Talk about being stressed out; you certainly cannot blame the kid for being scared. We do our best to make the process as painless as possible but when faced with a child who is screaming bloody murder before we even enter the room and a parent who goes limp with indecision, things can go south quickly.
These are my observations. For the record, my own Mom would threaten me with a visit to the doctor for a shot anytime I misbehaved. Obviously, that wasn’t the smartest thing she has ever done but I most likely deserved those threats and many more that she may have missed. However, I was the stoic type of child. That is of course after my Mom had to catch me and get me in the car for the visit to the doctor. Once in public, we were only allowed to be stoic.
Monday, August 21, 2006
"Supercalifragilisticexpiala-CRAZY"
A spoonful of tequila helps the medicine go down, yes indeed.
How do you know if you have thrown a successful cookout for your friends who also happen to be your co-workers? I'll tell you.
Have a theme, ours was "Tasty Tapas"
Liquor. A huge lot of it.
The right combination of guests, check!
Good weather. A little too humid for my taste but Tequila cures all.
Guests with magical epicurean powers. Who knew?
Your ancient grill holding up to the pressure, check check!
Spouses of guests who can dish it out as well as I could take it. Love those
spousal units.
Chocolate fondue with AMARETTO. Who cares if the chocolate was slightly lumpy.
Giggle fits while trying to explain what ramekins are to those who I previously
thought were gastronimists.
And the number one way to know you had a terrific tapas cookout, your guests attempt to clean your entire kitchen while you are still slurping a libation. SCORE!
(Title of this post lifted from one of the Project Runway contestants)
How do you know if you have thrown a successful cookout for your friends who also happen to be your co-workers? I'll tell you.
Have a theme, ours was "Tasty Tapas"
Liquor. A huge lot of it.
The right combination of guests, check!
Good weather. A little too humid for my taste but Tequila cures all.
Guests with magical epicurean powers. Who knew?
Your ancient grill holding up to the pressure, check check!
Spouses of guests who can dish it out as well as I could take it. Love those
spousal units.
Chocolate fondue with AMARETTO. Who cares if the chocolate was slightly lumpy.
Giggle fits while trying to explain what ramekins are to those who I previously
thought were gastronimists.
And the number one way to know you had a terrific tapas cookout, your guests attempt to clean your entire kitchen while you are still slurping a libation. SCORE!
(Title of this post lifted from one of the Project Runway contestants)
Friday, August 18, 2006
Free Spirits
The other day while at work, I was having a conversation with our receptionist. I was at the front desk chatting with her. The floor plan of our office is open, if anyone is engaging the receptionist everyone in the waiting is in on the conversation. Of course we are compliant with all HIPPA regulations, everyone calm down.
We were discussing whether or not Paris Hilton would stay with Stavros or move onto the next best prospect. The receptionist’s cell phone rang. Unbeknownst to her, the ring tone had recently been tampered with. The song that was playing was very upbeat and happy. Without any other provocation, she and I began jamming to the tune while continuing our discussion. It was not until the patient in the waiting room startling laughing that we realized we had an audience.
While we were trying to maintain a bit of decorum, the patient asked if the floor show would cost him any extra. That is my kind of patient. We told him that being a patient at our facility comes with many perks not to worry.
We were discussing whether or not Paris Hilton would stay with Stavros or move onto the next best prospect. The receptionist’s cell phone rang. Unbeknownst to her, the ring tone had recently been tampered with. The song that was playing was very upbeat and happy. Without any other provocation, she and I began jamming to the tune while continuing our discussion. It was not until the patient in the waiting room startling laughing that we realized we had an audience.
While we were trying to maintain a bit of decorum, the patient asked if the floor show would cost him any extra. That is my kind of patient. We told him that being a patient at our facility comes with many perks not to worry.
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