Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The Most Adorable Onsie, EVER!!!

Does that sound convincing? Hey, I never said I was an actress.

Gestational Countessa’s baby shower is coming up. Can I tell you that when God was making me, not only did he leave out the shopping gene he also left out the enjoying any type of shower gene. I get nauseous even thinking about cooing over each and every gift being opened. I mean do we really need to oooh and aaaah after each package? Seriously, we are all grown women here.

I am extremely happy for my sister, she had a miscarriage the first go round, and I can’t wait to meet Smelly. (I promise to reveal the story behind her moniker during a future post) I am more than happy to plan the event, make the favors, order the food send out the invitations and socialize with the crowd. It’s the inane gift reveal that simply makes me want to poke my eyes right out.

I will be the dutiful sibling and endure the madness but there had better be liquor involved. If not, I may have to bring a flask. I draw the line at shower games. If that happens, Wicked will leave the building.

BS, Sous-Chef Mermaid and I spent 3 hours of quality bonding time preparing the baby shower centerpieces and favors. Let me tell you that the mother daughter team (BS /Sous-Chef Mermaid) were most definitely not designed for assembly line productions. Oy vey! They were killing me. I cannot remember the last time I laughed so heartily.

BS has a mean OCD streak. We had to make sure that the freaking ribbons were not only free of twists but if there was a millimeter of ribbon extending past the line, BS lost it. It’s a baby shower favor, not brain surgery. Then Sous-Chef Mermaid was seriously challenged when it came to affixing labels to nuggets of chocolate. I, of course, was handling the situation with grace. NOT!!! You all know better than that.

In any case, it will all be over soon. I mean I am sure the shower will go as planned. I leave you with a direct quote from my 11 year old niece, Sous-Chef Mermaid: “Smelly better appreciate all the work that was involved with these shower favor things!”

That apple, it does not fall far from the tree.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wicked, if your not careful you may expose your loving , caring side!!!

Miss Britt said...

Excellent.

You should also practice...

Oh My God - NIPPLES!! You know you can NEVER have enough nipples!!!

Wicked H said...

Dave: I am doing my best to keep it hidden, trust me.

Miss Britt: OMG!!!! Shoot me now.

sophie said...

A trick my Mother taught me was to say that you had another engagement the same day, go to the shower early, do the meet and greet thing and then bail. It won't really work for your sister's shower, but you could use it in the future, perhaps. She didn't have the gene and evidently it's not recessive because my sis and I don't have it either.

HotForSimon said...

She really DOES have a loving, caring side. Just don't take her shopping. LOL

Anonymous said...

Couldn't you be required for brain surgery as the gift revealing began? Or an emergency consultation on the Hill?

Wicked H said...

Sophie: I will tuck that one away for my next shower invite.

HFS: So true on both counts. She has witnessed both. You all can trust her opinion :-)

CEO: Well I'll bet my older sister the BS will now have a good excuse to leave the shower early. Hmmm, emergency medical legislation on the Hill, I like the way you think. I am an expert of sorts...

Nutcracker Sweet 54 said...

Well wicked we made it through another family ordeal. Maybe one of our shower guests had spoken with "sophie" since she didn't even stay for the shower???!!!! Well alls well that ends well....ooohhhh, aahhhhh, oooohhhh...sorry, got to get back to work, I'm on call tonight