Sunday, October 15, 2006

Dear Highly Impatient and Agitative Manassas Cracker Barrel Patron:

Listen Lady, it is entirely conceivable that you are not from the area. If that is the case, you really have a bad sense of reading a situation. Let me see if I can give you a few pointers useful during your next visit. If you are from this area, then your tactic obviously did not work, you need to be more creative for next time.

Pretty much any eating establishment in the Northern Virginia area is going to have a lengthy waiting list starting around Happy Hour Thursday night and right through the Sunday evening meal. Don’t like crowds or waiting? Stay home. Perhaps fast food establishments were invented for a person such as yourself.

Badgering the barely English speaking hostess who is simply trying to earn a living announcing whose party is ready and who is soon to be on deck is not a productive measure. Repeating yourself at a decibel louder than the back ground noise also counter productive. Pointing your finger at her while exclaiming that you have a child asleep in the car and need to know the exact second your table will be ready will only get you pushed back further on the list.

Our hostess knew enough English to call off the names as the manager pointed to them on the list. Did the hostess have a thick accent which made simple names unrecognizable? Absolutely. Arguing with her as to the time of your party’s placement on the list versus the amount of time you’ve been waiting also futile. Standing there glaring at her while she made fun of you in her native tongue to the rest of her compadres, priceless.

Lady we are all hungry, we have memorized the inventory of the store in an attempt to waste time while waiting for our name to be called, the weather was a bit chilly to be seated in the comfy rockers and some of us were getting claustrophobic. Welcome to our world. Patience is a virtue. Learn to deal or become a hermit and let the rest of us enjoy our waiting and dining experience.

Wishing you much luck in this crazy, crowded world.

Sincerely - Wicked H


HotForSimon said...

My stepmother was in NOVA yesterday??


Nutcracker Sweet 54 said...

Dear Wicked.....Sous Chef Mermaid and I had a great time and of course the Cracker Barrel being her favorite Northern VA restaurant, she was thrilled. Claustrophobic....yes I was, impatient, not so much, I thought we had a great time. Hope we all do it again soon.

Wicked H said...

I had a blast as well.

I was letting the impatient crazy patron know that probably more than one person besides herself was impatient, claustrophobic, etc. Wasn't directing that to any Wicked Family member as we are perfect therefore it gives us the right to make fun of others....