Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Buzzard Luck

The following took place about 15 years ago, back when I began assisting a general surgeon.

A buxom, 50 year old woman was involved in a motor vehicle accident resulting in a terrible breast contusion. When she hit the brakes, her seatbelt locked as it should and when the force of the accident propelled her body forward, her right breast suffered in the process. She came to our office for treatment of the breast contusion. She was an E cup and the entire breast was one huge bruise. Each week she would come in so that we could stick a rather large needle into her breast and draw off as much of the bloody serum as possible. Believe it or not, this actually relieved some of her pain.

By the fourth week of treatment the three of us became good friends. The woman was so comfortable with us that she began telling us the best stories during her treatment. She told us that if she didn’t have buzzard luck, she’d have none at all. To his credit, the surgeon was quite good at his specialty and Ms. Buzzard Luck barely knew when the needle was in her breast.

During her last appointment, the office was a little crazed which resulted in her having to wait a bit before I could get into the exam room to chaperone and assist. After the third time I stuck my head into to room to let her know the Doctor and I would be right there, she told me to send him on in. She was in no need of a chaperone, she trusted the surgeon. To which I replied, “honey it’s not you I am worried about. I am afraid you may molest the good doctor.”

As the Doctor and I finally entered the room, Ms. Buzzard Luck stated that she was sad that she wouldn’t see us again. We replied in kind and told her to stop by any time she was in the neighborhood. A week later she sent us a beautifully framed picture of the ugliest buzzard I have ever seen. The note on the card read: Thank you to the Doc and his Bodyguard.

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October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month and is dedicated to increasing awareness of breast cancer issues, especially the importance of early detection. It works through a nationwide education campaign aimed at the general public, state and federal governments, health care professionals, employers, and women of all ages and ethnic groups. Please remind all the women in your lives to perform self breast exams regularly. If caught early, breast cancer can be beaten.


Bean said...

This is the second reminder I've read about Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I'm not sure if it's the same month here in Australia, but I'll be reminding just the same.

This breast contusion thing sounds horribly painful too though, I cringed when I read about the bruise. Ouch.

From your battle of the blogs opponent :)

wallofdenial said...

I regularly examine my wifes breasts, now that she is pregnant, it is even more fun

Wicked H said...

Bean: It was pretty ugly but she recovered quite nicely. At first I had a difficult time looking at her injury without feeling phantom pain myself. Thanks for reminding everyone, so important.

Dave: Good for you!!

Amy said...

What a great story!!

HotForSimon said...


Jurgen Nation said...

I love confident women like her. I hope I have some of that when I need it.

Nutcracker Sweet 54 said...

Hi Wicked: I remember that story. Thanks for the reminder of Breast Cancer Awareness month....I have to get a mamogram....Also, since I was on line I wanted to wish you an early Happy Birthday!!