Tuesday, July 26, 2005

In Pursuit of Less Hirsute

I walked into the waiting room of my laser hair removal appointment and to my surprise, what did I find? Three men. I am not sure why it threw me off kilter but it did. Shame on me for thinking that only women seek a state of glabrousness. After I cleared that up in my head, I grabbed a magazine and took a seat.

All three of them were impeccably dressed. I am always dressed casually for work, the patients we see really could care less what we are wearing. I take full advantage of that perk. The room was silent, I was trying to enjoy my gossip magazine and my roommates were busy. One was reading the Post, one was furiously tapping away on his laptop and the other was anxiously waiting for eye contact from me.

Once I met his gaze, he initiated conversation. I now know that he is receiving treatment to the back of his neck/hairline, his back and an unmentionable area.( Thanks fella, I really could have gone through my whole day without that knowledge)When he was done he turned to me and asked why I was there? Of course the other 2 temporarily stopped what they were doing to also hear what part of my body was to be treated. There are some things total strangers really don’t need to know. However, since I realized that there was no escaping his question I decided to have fun while waiting my turn:

Wicked H: I am here to remove all hair except what is on my scalp.
Conversation Initiator: Really? What about your eyebrows?
Post Reader: (Intently waiting for my answer)
Wicked H: Well, it all depends on budget. If I run out of funds, the eyebrows can be sacrificed.
Post Reader: ( Now has brought out his cell phone and is using the calculator function to foretell my expenses) Good call. I’d keep the eyebrows. They are attractive.
Wicked H: Why thank you, I believe I will heed your advice. ( wishing the floor would open up and swallow me now or that all 3 would be called back for their appointment already!!!)

I should have wished for a million dollars. For at that exact moment, all three did get called back for their treatments. So there you go Internets, this was not something I was going to Blog about. You have the three of them to thank.

7 comments:

Weary Hag said...

Be thankful I wasn't sitting there with you when that rude imbecile asked you what you were having done. I would never have skipped a beat and would have said as loudly as possible, "What is it you want to hear, f*cktard?"

At least you got yourself some blogging fodder! :)

Anonymous said...

I think it's great that guys were there receiving treatment. More men should take care of themselves (and remove that nasty back hair!).

Unknown said...

Very well written and very funny!

HotForSimon said...

I think you handled it great...of course, you could have just said "They're removing my pubes...wanna see"???

Might have gotten a date out of the deal, ya know??? ((snort))

I mean, really...you KNOW that's what he wanted to hear. ((LOL))

tommy said...

H, you are hilarious

Matt said...

I've always wondered what it would be like to be hairless for awhile. Not permanently, but just for a bit, then let it all grow back.

Anonymous said...

I pee'd in my pants laughing...Nutcracker Sweet 54