Thursday, August 19, 2004

Fear Factor

Is there anyone out there who is not afraid of the Dentist? If so, let me hear from you. We are all adults; most of rational humans who lead productive lives. Why is it that the thought of going to a Dentist triggers our anxieties? Pain. Yes, I think that is it. The pain it may cause you and most definitely your wallet.

I have not seen a dentist in let’s just say several years. My bad. My main reason was the cost. I went ahead and made an appointment since I have all this free time right now. Maybe I should return to work. I am beginning to enjoy shopping now too, bizarre. I digress.

There I am in the dreaded chaise lounge chair. Hands sweating heart palpitating. I am sure you have experienced this. In comes the Doogie Howser of Dentists. A very nice, definitely handsome young man. We did the typical review of dental/medical history. He seemed to be knowledgeable of my prior ailments and allergies. You’d be surprised whom I have come across in the past. Scary really. Then comes the pitch to salvage my chops. I patiently listen to his game plan: Titanium rod implants at 3K a pop (uh, NO), bone grafts to rebuild the cavernous loss (get serious) and an array of other bionic mentions. When he asked me what I thought about all this I very calmly told him that I was not planning on putting his child through college. Thanks, but no thanks. I am here for a simple quadrant ultra-sonic scaling; I do appreciate the concern though.

The rest of my visit went as well as can be expected. You know the typical high pitch sounds that reverberate through your mouth while your face is being sprayed with who knows what. The conversation that requires more than an uh huh while he has all 10 fingers in your mouth as well as a couple of dental implements. How do they know what your are saying? Doogie was quite the conversationalist. He told me he was quite enamored with the Women’s Olympic Volleyball team. He told me that he is afraid of visiting the Doctor. He told me that because he gave his 18-month-old daughter a cashew, he and his wife now know that she is allergic to cashews. He feels much guilt for being the one who supplied said cashew. He hates being bored, that is his reason for selecting General Dentistry. He is not a dog person but a cat person; the only reason he puts up with the dog is because it is the wife’s dog. (Major loss of points for that remark) He is deathly afraid of flying yet is taking off for Vegas tomorrow. These are all items he volunteered; I cannot make this stuff up. Is it just me or is he this forthcoming with all his patients?

His ramblings certainly made the time pass quicker. I am happy to report that 1/4 of my mouth is now tartar free and I get to do all this again next week. Woo hoo. Will I still have to drive past the parking lot at least twice before being able to park? Will I still have sweaty palms and palpitations while waiting to be taken back to the chaise lounge. You betcha. But I am looking forward to hearing all about Sin City.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ugh. I need to make an appointment... Haven't been in as long as you, probably... I know I'll have 100 cavities or something. Blehhh =P

Awwww, do I have to???

Anonymous said...

Ugh. I need to make an appointment... Haven't been in as long as you, probably... I know I'll have 100 cavities or something. Blehhh =P

Awwww, do I have to???

- Jo

Anonymous said...

Well, great minds think alike or bad teeth in siblings have similar appointments??!! Go figure. I too went to the dentist today, only for a cleaning.....I too went through the familiar anxiety attack symptoms....had my cleaning, was told to come back in 4 months (lucky me) and of course the insurance only pays for 2 cleanings/yr. I don't mind paying, however, that is where the bargain stops. When he starts with the "we can put Gortex on the roots of your teeth, and use cadaver bone to augment the bone loss etc. etc." that is where I draw the line. The only Gortex I will have anywhere in close proximity to my body will be in the form of a jacket. And as for cadaver bone to augment my bone loss....here are 4 words I DON'T THINK SO. The last dentist that made the same offer to me is obviously with me as a patient. (I am not going to pay for anyone's Mercedes, unless it is mine). So there you have it. Life goes on, bad teeth or not....goodluck with the next 3 quadrants.......Nutcrackersweet #54

Wicked H said...

Jo: Just a friendly suggestion - the sooner you go in the quicker the dentist can re-arrange his stock portfolio. So it really is a must.

Nutty: Genetics, gotta love it.

HotForSimon said...

Good thing we are sisters of the heart and not the genes...all this talk of cadavers and bone grafts is making me achy all over!!!

Ask doogie for a parraffin wax hand treatment when you go back...my dentist does that and it's fantastic. That, and the massage chairs. And the headphones. And the oral sedation. Acutally, the oral sedation is the best part...unti you wake up in your bed 7 hours later and have NO idea WHAT SO EVER how you got there.

Scary.

Michael said...

Just don't forget to floss. And try more regular visits. He gets a divorce and your first in line!

Michael said...

You got off easy, Wicked One. One dentist I saw decided that wanted ME to supply the cadaver bone. :>)