Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Confessions of a Sedated Mind

About 15 years ago, my Mom underwent a minor surgical procedure. Of everyone in my family, Mom is the most uncomfortable in the medical setting. Strong in every other sense but keep her away from doctor-patient encounters.

The surgery took place under local and IV sedation. For her particular procedure, Mom had to be awake in order to respond to commands- she was thoroughly sedated. My older sister was also present in the operating room I can't remember if she was there strictly for comfort or if she was assisting. Either way, Mom felt more at ease knowing her daughter was at her side.

The preparations were completed and Mom was given the happy juice, Versaid. Here are a few snippets of my Mom's exclamations during her procedure:

* Here we go again!!! What was my BP? (She said this each time her blood pressure was automatically taken - I am told she wouldn't stop asking till someone told her)

* Hey! It is cold in here.

* Where is my husband? Are you still here, oldest daughter? Where is Wicked? Where is the youngest?

* Did you all remember to walk the dog?

* Here we go again! What's my pressure?

* Did you know that I have 3 daughters?

* The eldest is the prettiest one but you DON’T want to see her without any makeup.

* Here we go again! Are the numbers good?

* Oh, please don't tell her I said that. It's our secret, okay?

* You all need to hurry up because I am getting tired of this. Eldest daughter, tell them to hurry up.

* Guess what? My husband and I are going out dancing after this and we will eat filet mignon.

* Here we go again! Let me guess this time, 140/90. Am I right?

I was not present in the operating room but I was present when they wheeled my Mom into the recovery room. Needless to say, the team that brought her there was snickering the whole time. My sister look embarrassed.

Mom and Versaid an enlightening combination.


Anonymous said...

Oh, man! What a delightful opportunity to make some stuff up and tell her that she said it!


Anonymous said...

Reminds me of when my mother and her then-boyfriend/now-husband were in a car accident. He'd had his surgery already and was very lucid when she was brought back from hers... She was all lovey and wanted her bed to be pushed up next to his so they could hold hands or something... My sister and I were there, my grandmother was there... Oh yeah, he was BRIGHT red.

Mothers + sedatives = dangerous combination

- Jo

Raybelle said...

Opperating room drugs are the funniest! Many years ago my youngest brother broke both of his arms. (He was only 11 so we'll forgive him for being a klutz.) Well as I am many years older than him and changed his diapers I always used to tease him that he had a really cute butt. Apparently he was only embarrassed about it while NOT on drugs; with the medicine they gave him he was telling all of the nurses that his sister thought he had a cute butt...and then asked--what did they think?

Michael said...

Hmm. Are we sure that was the only drug she was on that day? Sounds like a little crack got into the mix. :)

When I was in the hospital in 2002, they gave me a morphine drip, with a little pump for me to use when the pain got bad. One day I pumped that sucker for about an hour. I was s-o-o-o-o high that I saw crawly things on the wall. I'm a lousy junky...I mean, I'm lousy as a junky...uh...not good at doing drugs...whew!

Anonymous said...

Well, Mom got a new and fresh look after that surgery and I HAD to wear make-up each and every day to work....YUCK! Nutcrackersweet #54

Wicked H said...

It's tough being the prettiest. Right Nutcrackersweet #54.

Poor baby!! :-Þ

Anonymous said...

I had sinus surgery about 4 years ago and while sitting in the recovery room, I got the usual "are you all right" question. I'd nod "yes", wait a second or two, then shake my head "no". I did this three or four times before they decided to call the wife back. When she saw what I was doing, she started laughing. We had seen Eddie Izzard the other night and I was imitating the headshaking he did when he told the crowd that Engelbert Humperdinck died.

Not sure if the nurses thought it was funny, but I sure did.


Carrie said...

What a great post. I'd have been afraid to hear what MY mom would've said under Versaid. Whoo boy, no thanks.

Howard, that is SO damn funny! Eddie Izzard is a genius.

Random said...

LOL, this is great!! I completely understand. I recently got the VERSED treatment in IV form and I was completely gone but attentive. I went on a giggle bender after surgery. Wierd stuff.

Anonymous said...

Believe me its true. Last weekend I had a procedure done and was singing among other things. They all said I had a good time during the procedure. I knew I was saying things but couldn't stop.