Home Stretch

Well friends, it has been one long month. For someone who is deathly afraid of the dentist, in the past thirty days he and I have become quite close. If I am not mistaken, I may have single handedly financed two of his eight children’s college education. I don’t want to jinx myself or him at this point, but I am hoping and praying that I have reached the summit of my dental debacle.

I will spare you most of the gory details. I would like to share that when I told my sister the brain surgeon the details of the major procedure I had done, she herself told me to stop. BS said that if I didn’t stop with the details, she was going to vomit. This, from the woman who digs into people’s brains every day at least thirty times a day. Enough said.

I have been plagued with bad teeth forever. I’ve been through countless procedures. My previous dentist who could not completely numb my mouth due to scar tissue, told me that either he’d have to stop mid-extraction or I would have to tough it out. He had given me the legal and illegal limit of Novocain. I told him that if he didn’t mind me breaking the arm rest of his surgical dental lounge chair, to carry on. He must have thought I was kidding because the look of surprise when I handed him the entire arm rest was priceless.

Friends, I urge you not to repeat my mistakes. Be responsible flossers. Listen to your dental professionals. Or suffer the consequences and be prepared to put their children through college or finance the remodeling of their recreation room.