Sunday, April 01, 2007


The Southerners enjoy their pranks. Maybe because there isn't much in the way of entertainment, the East Jesus Folks can't wait for April 1st to roll around. I will tell you first hand that they do not mess around with the April Fools Day hijinks.

April 1, 1995 I was letting my dog Dexter out into the front yard for his morning ritual of greeting the school kids. I used to live in the center of town, Main Street. My street was the only way in and out of town. As soon as I hooked up his lead, he began barking incessantly. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed something in my yard. I put on something presentable, I didn’t want to scare or scar the kids, and went out front to find one of those storks set up in my front yard announcing to God and everyone that I just had a boy. I was neither seeing anyone nor gestational. I decided I would leave the stork there since whoever went to the trouble did make me chuckle.

All day long I was receiving phone calls from friends and townies. Some were asking me if Dexter had sired another round of puppies some were congratulating me, etc. The best call came from my lawyer, Max. He asked me the same questions and I told him it was an April Fools Day joke. He told me that he would be happy to assist me in retaliation. So I called up the local florist and asked him who had placed the stork order. I called Max back and told him the culprits were a nurse and a nurse practitioner in one of my remote clinics. He told me that he would send a Sheriff’s Deputy to the clinic with a summons and have them arrested. Why not, I was a temporary Southerner after all. I told him to go ahead. The deal was that the Deputy would call me before he set out so that I could be there when the "arrest" happened.

I made my way to the clinic like I usually did just to check in and see how things were going. While I was there the Deputy showed up. He came into the clinic with his summons and read the charges to both culprits, hand-cuffed them and as they were being placed into the Sheriff’s car I wished them all Happy April Fools Day! I so wish I had a camera that day.

What’s your best April Fools Day gag; delivered or received?


HotForSimon said...

Nothing as good as that one, I'm afraid.

The CEO said...

Old fuddy duddy here. I just sit back with a highball and watch y'all.