(A moment to interrupt the levity with a hearty congrats to MY TERPS!!! Boo Yah!)
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Porsche convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing!" he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the highway patrol behind him, blue lights flashing and sirens blaring. "I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the old speedster. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120 mph. Suddenly, he thought, "What the hell am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense", pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the Trooper to catch up with him.
Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the driver's side of the Porsche, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The man, looking very seriously at the Trooper, said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper.
I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, Sir," said the Trooper