Thursday, March 30, 2006

Director’s Hall

Recently, Pet Whisperer and I went to the movies. We have a deluxe theater complex nearby which gives you the option of paying a couple of dollars extra for the ability of hand picking the seat in the theater. I am usually not that picky when it comes to where I sit in a movie theater but as luck would have it, the movie we wanted to see was being played in the Director’s Hall. So be it. We purchased our tickets, picked our seats and proceeded to our theater.

Apparently there are several perks to viewing the film in the Director’s Hall:

• the tickets are presented to you in a special envelope which also contains wet naps
• the seats that are malfunctioning have caution tape around them
• you get a personal greeting in the form of a lecture from one of the staff

I am not sure why it was necessary to place our tickets into a protective envelope when in exactly ten steps we were required to remove them and hand them to the usher. I am going to venture a guess and state that if you have the extra two bucks to view the movie, the wet nap should be considered a luxury. Apparently the common folk must use napkins. I liked the idea of the caution tape for malfunctioning seats. However, the computer at the box office was not coordinated to reflect the malfunction causing serious anxiety for a couple of patrons who hand picked the broken seats. I did offer my wet nap in condolence but the patron was not appeased. Our lecture consisted of a very informative discussion as to the history of the theater and the function of the arm rests and all the benefits of being seated amongst the privileged.

It is of note that the rest of the theaters in this complex of 14 have the exact seating arrangements and functional arm rests, etc. The only difference is that you don’t receive your tickets in a protective envelope, no wet naps and no useless lecture from a middle aged theater usher who boasts of his recent theater sabbatical.

4 comments:

wallofdenial said...

So they soak you for extra money for mno other aparent reason other than a 2 cent envelope ans a 3 cent wetnap?

Well now thats a profit margin

Phillip said...

Are there cooties in this theater that require the need for the wet nap and protective tix covering?

Maybe you should go elsewhere. But then we wouldn't get the hearty laughs you provide. Only you can spin a tale like this, Wicked.

Wicked H said...

Dave: It's amazing, right?

Phillip: now that you mention it, I did get a weird rash......ew!

Homo Insapiens said...

You mean they didn't provide you with a foil packet of 37 year old peanuts? USAir must own the theatre.