Cheeseburger in Paradise

Imagine you are performing the above song to two individuals who have never heard of it and believe that what sanity you had before the beach, completely got washed out with the tide. That pretty much set the tone for the beach excursion. That’s what I get for hanging out with a friend who is nearly 10 years my junior and her 13 year old daughter. Talk about generational gaps. It is what makes our trips together fabulous. Diversity friends, it is the spice of life. The new black, if you will.

We had a minor snafu upon check in to our lavish hotel. Once I talked HFS down off the ledge, our sandy journey began. I am extremely delirious to report that we did not, at any time, visit a flea market nor plan each morsel that would enter our systems the entire trip. Our itinerary consisted of the go with the flow agenda. We were on vacation, dammit!

As I previously mentioned, the entire cheerleading brigade of America happened to be in our little beach town the same time we were. It actually worked out well in that it kept the leering Canadian golf nuts out of our hotel. Yay team! Also, since they were competing the same time we were lounging, we did not have to deal with any extra self image problems had they been out and about while we were. Score! We also had some nice eye candy as it was also spring break for the college kids. I don’t seem to remember such hotties when I was in college. Maybe they grow them different these days.

Besides Patrick, who needs to visit a proctologist and have that stick removed, all of the servers we encountered understood and played along with our sense of humor. It makes for good tipping.

We are definitely not ready for any type of professional bowling competition. All I will reveal is that balls were rolled and pins were knocked over. Much giggling and sore muscles followed. This in turn made the hot tubs even more endearing.

My flights were enjoyable. On the way down I had to be social with my seat mate. It was not exactly what I had in mind but it made the trip move that much faster. On the way back I had what must have been a swinging couple seated next to me. They were doing their damnedest to make it into the mile high club. I almost had to ask them to move it into the lavatory. Luckily the turbulence we encountered cooled things down.

All in all I achieved what I wanted, relaxation. Of course more sun worshiping would have been ideal. I need to keep the dermatologists in business. Maybe next trip.