Monday, July 26, 2004

More Wicked H’s Helpful Hints...

If you want me to buy your door to door salesperson's product, she most definitely shouldn't be wearing micro-mini hot pants and a tube top. Sorry, I just don't swing that way. Now send me some male eye candy and we will probably have a sale. Oh, I might even buy whatever  product he is peddling.

If you want to impress me with your hands free cell phone technology in the middle of Potomac Mills Mall, make sure the earplug actually leads to a cell phone. Because you know that I am going to check if you have annoyed me to the point of no return. Grey Old Navy tank top wearing LOSER. Oh and you may fish this ear thing out of the yellow trashcan in Neighborhood 12. Have a groovy day - dude.

If you are going to like, check out every can of generic like, peas in that section of the like, grocery store with your like, cart in the middle of the aisle? Then you better be prepared for me to go into uber bumper shopping cart mode. Like, if you like, think of it um like, driving? Then like, you won’t like get like whiplash while grocery shopping. For the love of Odonna Matthews, keep right.

I might just have to change my name to Heloise; I am so darn helpful.


5 comments:

HotForSimon said...

Like...that was like, you know, like....awesome, dude!!

Wayyyyyyy.....

Yo Yo Yo, Dawg!!! ((LOL))

Michael said...

Well, gee, Ms. H., remind me to stay the hell off the Beltway when you're on it. I like to set the cruise control at 45 and charge down the left lane. Speed kills, baby. ;)

Wicked H said...

OY VEY, Maria!!!

Thanks for the warning Michael.

HotForSimon said...

That was YOU, Michael??

Uhhh....sorry about that, uh...rather unpleasant hand gesture....teehee!!

Green-Eyed Lady(GEL) said...

Like, uh, really LMAO!