Tuesday, July 29, 2008

25 Phrases of Wisdom

(Original author not known to me. I'd definitely share a martini or two with them however - Enjoy)

1. If you’re too open minded, your brains will fall out.

2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist changes places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

25. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.


Phillip said...

#3 is rather moving!!

Ry said...

These are fantastic! I'm glad you shared. I particularly enjoy:

"A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good."

YANZ said...

i alwayz quote #1! :P

Karina said...

I love number 3 as well. But to be honest, as I was reading I kept saying "OOH, number (fill-in-the-blank) is really good..." this is a great list!

The CEO said...

I work with the imbecile. Daily.

Duni said...

Thanks for making me laugh!
I especially like #6

Have a nice day.


just a girl... said...

I love #6. I am new to your blog and already love it.

Wicked H said...

Phillip: It makes me chuckle on a thrice daily basis.

Ry: Yup, good one!

Yanz: So wise you are.

Karina: Glad you are enjoying it!

CEO: Just one? Consider yourself lucky!

Duni & Girl: You're most welcome.

Anastasia said...

New here, and liking it heaps. I can identify with the balanced diet (cookies, and more cookies) and the housework. They're all gems. I would have loved to have #4 pinned up in my former workplace :)

Anonymous said...

14 made me smile, thanks...

Mystery Man said...

lol...i rather enjoyed these. especially men are from earth. women are frm earth. deal with it...lol

Anonymous said...