Monday, June 02, 2008

Well-Mannered Dirty Martini

First, if you have not yet tried one, get thee to your local watering hole and report back. Touts suite!

Second, if your Maternal Unit tore you a new one for issues that are not even within your comprehension, let alone your control, have at least two.

Friends, let us all agree that family ties are a slippery slope. It is no secret that my Father went through a major ordeal recently. He sailed through; easy breezy. My Mother, the Drama Queen, is still internalizing all her pent up frustrations from that recent period. Correction, she unleashed her frustrations onto Brain Surgeon while being transported to a shopping excursion. I will not go into the gory details.

What I will share is that I picked up my sisters, Brain Surgeon and Maternal Countessa, for an evening of harbor breezes and the dulcet tunes of our Sweet Baby James. The Sisters Wicked attended the James Taylor concert at the Pier Six Pavilion located in the heart of the Inner Harbor of Baltimore. Or for the natives, “bout them O’s...Hon?”

We began our late afternoon with a yummy platter of apps consumed on the patio of the Cheesecake Factory. We washed down our apps with a couple or three “well-mannered” dirty martinis. I was told that I needed to step up and make the hour and a half trek to Maryland when our Mother wanted to be dropped off for one of her therapeutic shopping trips. Keep in mind, won’t you, that two of the Sisters live within 5 minutes of the Parental Units. But Professor Countessa thought I should make the trip because I wasn’t helping out enough. Sisters, can’t live with them and can’t knock them into the Harbor without getting arrested.

Anyway, I had a bit of solace when Professor Countessa was unable to operate the new Dyson hand dryer:
I watched BS use it first, made a joke about how I obviously had to get out more and was successful in drying my hands. Professor Countessa just stared at it and then wiped her hands on her jeans. I quietly said a quick prayer for all of the Professor's students and hoped that none would ask for a refund. Seriously, if you can teach biology, one would imagine that you could figure out the hand dryer after first watching both of your siblings utilize the contraption.

I digress. The weather was perfect. James was a bit shy while conversing with the audience. The young physician behind us was having issues with her answering service. The Baby Boomers can throw back dozens of cocktails during a show as well as empty their bladders just as often. Pier Six is a fantastic venue, if you’ve never been, try it at least once.

I do not recommend discussing the length of time a PAP smear should take while trapped in your vehicle with both your sisters, in a parking garage with no visible means of escape. Should you find yourself in this situation, just keep quiet. Trust me , you’ll thank me later.

How sweet it was to be out with James........


The CEO said...

I have got to get me a few of those well-mannered dirty martinis. And don't forget, I'm coming to BS's birthday party with the personal chef in September.

Onknees (not_onknees at the moment) said...

I ..can't resist...I tried, i really tried...

Anonymous said...

AHHHHHHH, family!!! Ceo you're always welcome at my home, come on over......Wicked, I cracked up so hard laughing I had to go to the ladies room, if you know what I mean!!! Great pictorial by the way!Memo to self: 1) ignore 98% of Professor Contessa's irrelevant ramblings including any and all issues having to do with bodily functions! 2) On the next occasion needing a present to be bought, send Maternal Unit a CAB VOUCHCER. Wicked, as always, you provided a wonderful time and whatever relaxation I could muster up. The 2 martinis helped alot!! Nutcracker Sweet 54

sophie said...

I'm not quite sure I know how to use the hand dryer either, but I also do not mess with people's least not literally.

An evening with James is always lovely. He's a great date.

Wicked H said...

CEO: They are the bomb and possibly may have replaced my standard T&T. Although, if the olive is not stuffed with blue cheese, then all bets are off. Can't wait to see you at the Chef party!

Onkees: Clink!

NS 54: We had fun, we always do!

Sophie: It was a really good show. The venue being surrounded by the harbor made it that much better.

Weary Hag said...

You are SO much my hero when it comes to sistah-riding. You hold back no baloney, do you? God I want half your verbal skills, a quarter of your perfect-title-giving skill and a quarter of your writing skills.
That would still leave you with a l'il suh-in suh-in doncha think?

Anonymous said...