Friday, December 21, 2007

This Greeting Has Been Cleared by My Attorney

(I am nothing if not politically correct - HA!)

From me ("the wishor") to you ("the wishee") please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I wish you a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that:-

This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal.

This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishor are acknowledged.

This greeting implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement any of the wishes.

This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishor.

This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.

The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor. Any references in this greeting to "The Lord", "Father Christmas", "Our Savior", "Rudolph the red nosed reindeer" or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.

This greeting is made under United States Law.

Dated this 21st day of December two thousand and seven.

8 comments:

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

I love this post! I loved it when you posted it last year (or was it the year before?) and I still love it.

Happy holidays and all the best in 2008!

Wicked H said...

JM: Very good memory - 2005. Wishing you and yours the same!

qualcosa di bello said...

i'll get back to you as soon as i am able to have my comments notarized!

Frances said...

I feel as if I should have my attorney look over my comments before pressing the button.
Just popping in to wish you a great holiday.
Thanks for being a great blog buddy.
Frances

Weary Hag said...

This is terrific! My husband brought home something very similar to this from his workplace. I feel like framing them and keeping them on my fridge for any future foo who complains about my non-pc-ness in the coming year.

Really just stopped in to wish you and yours a marvelous holiday and thrilling new year!!!

sognatrice said...

As a law school survivor, love this.

Happy holidays :)

Wicked H said...

QDB: Ha! In triplicate!

Frances: Happy Ho HO to you and yours sweetie.

Hagglette: Feel free to whip it out anytime. Happy Ho HO and Happy New Year to you too!

Sognatrice: Ciao! Happy Everything to you too!

Opinionnation said...

I am deeply offended by this ;-)