Octogeneric Long Distance Comedy

My Parents remain in the homeland. They are having a good time. Although I have noticed that they are more homesick this time than usual. It very well may have to do with them missing Sous Chef Mermaid and Smelly, their newest Grand daughter. The last two phone calls involved many mentions of how much they miss all of us. On previous jaunts, they never really vocalized that fact as much.

On the 4th of July I phoned my Parents to see how they were doing. They have been together for more than 50 years and I honestly believe it is due to the fact that they can bicker constantly and then forge ahead as well as enjoy quality time apart. I found out that my Dad was off on a beach trip while my Mom remained at the home front with her siblings. This is a little snippet of our conversation:

Mom: How is everyone there doing? Are you keeping in touch with your sisters?

Wicked: Yes Mom, everyone is fine.

Mom: How is Smelly? Have you seen Smelly?

Wicked: Mom she is growing like the wind, although she is only five months old. She really still only eats, sleeps and poops. You haven’t missed much, trust me.

Mom: Your Father is mad at me.

Wicked: What now?

Mom: He thinks I lost our return tickets and passports.

Wicked: Really? He left them in your care? He is usually too anal about stuff like that.

Mom: He swears that he gave them all to me and now they are missing. Of course, he has his passport.

Wicked: I am relatively sure he did not give them to you, he is a control freak after all.

Mom: I know, I agree. You need to help us find them.

Wicked: Mom, you and I are on separate continents right now. I can only suggest places he may have hidden them. Check all the zippered compartments of the suit cases, the far recesses of any and all drawers, etc.

Mom: Eh! It’s his problem. If he lost my passport, then I guess I will stay here with my brothers and sisters.

Wicked: Okay, you know what is best. I guess we will have to just show Smelly pictures of you...

Mom: Fine! I need to get off the phone and start searching. Bye....Love you!

As I was going to work today, I noticed I had a message on my cell phone. Being the low-tech gal that I am, once I enter the sanctuary of my home, I don’t carry my cell around with me in the house. I still am of the I need a land line school of thought.

The message was from my Father. He was telling me that he was at a beach with friends and that my Mother has lost her passport and both of their return tickets. He requested that I help her retrieve the items. I just shook my head as I giggled. Remember I am on an entirely different continent and can only offer support by phone.

It is of note that my younger sister, Maternal Countessa - Smelly’s Mom, also got a call today from our Dad. He told her the same story. She, not being too supportive, asked him what exactly he thought she could do for them? Shocker that he hung up on her.

You have to love the long distance hijinks that my Parents can generate. Maternal Countessa told me that Mom could simply go to the nearest American Embassy and get a new passport lickety split. I reminded her that in this post 9/11 world, there will be no re-issuing of passports lickety or splitting. Shocker that she hung up on me too.

I need a drink.

Stay tuned to find out if our Parents are able to return together or not.

Make that drink a double!!

Cheers.