Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Good News and Bad News

Not exactly the words you want to hear when the car dealer returns to you after checking your credit history. However, in this case the story took a wild and strange turn.

My BIL, King of all new technology, went in to buy one of those new hybrid numbers. Once he decided which one he wanted, the requisite credit check was performed and the fun ensued. Here is a bit of the conversation between the salesman and my BIL:

Salesman: Well, I’ve got good news and bad news.
BIL: Okay. I can take it, what’s up.
Salesman: May I first look at your hands?
BIL: What?
Salesman: Work with me, may I see your hands?
BIL:(Displays both hands for the man)
Salesman: Thank you. The good news is that your credit is perfectly fine. The bad news is that your name showed up on the FBI’s top ten most wanted list.
BIL: Excuse me?
Salesman: I am relatively sure you are not the guy.
BIL: Why did you need to see my hands?
Salesman: The man on the list has tattoos all over his hands and he is 75 years old.

It turns out the wanted felon murdered a Police Chief in Pennsylvania over 15 years ago and one of his alias’ is my BIL’s name. The even weirder twist of this is that my BIL himself is a retired Police officer originally from Pennsylvania.

Being quite connected with the local and federal law officials; BIL got busy trying to figure out how to get his name off of this list. Countless phone calls and official letters of complaint to his Congressmen and Senator and to the head of Homeland Security finally gave a few more leads. This whole process took over a month and I am not quite sure if he got it all straightened out. BIL and the family are in Mexico on holiday right now so I know they made it into the country without hassle. Let’s hope they are able to leave Mexico without incident. My BIL is carrying an official letter stating he is not the man on the List but who knows how many of the A-listers also carry around “official” letters. I told him to get the letter written in Spanish as well just to be safe.

I always thought there was something shifty about you BIL. Here’s hoping the Federales don’t give you are hard time.


HotForSimon said...

Who's going to watch Googie if you have to travel to Mexico to bail your BIL out of a mexican jail???

Wicked H said...

Yea good question. Last night I made temporary arrangements with Pet Whisperer you know my partner in adventures. She gladly accepted the task if I have to bail BIL out.

wallofdenial said...

so did he get it resolved or did he run to mexico?

Wicked H said...

Too much was going on with the details so besides the official letter he is carrying around, I believe that it is not totally resolved. If they show up to pick up Google, then I'll know it all went well. If not, I'll be making a quick jaunt to Mexico. Can I bring you anything back Dave?

wallofdenial said...

yeah bring back a decent job

Fanny said...

Hey. Any chance your sister had anything to do with getting her husband on that list? And if so, may I contact her somehow?

Great blog Wicked. Long time lurker.

Wicked H said...

Dave: I'll see what I can do.

Fanny: Great to see you! The jury is out as to who put his name on the list. If she did, then I will hook the 2 of you up. Deal?

Amy said...

Wow... now that's what you call ironic. ;o)

Joe said...

OMG! That's hilarious and scary and fucked up! What a story! Keep us updated as to what happens when he returns from Mexico.

Have a great day my friend!

Pioneer Woman said...

I'll bet he had laser treatment to remove the tats.

I unmercifully give my BIL trouble on my blog. It's my life's work.