Monday, July 17, 2006

Be Careful What You Ask, You May Not Like the Answer

I ran a quick errand yesterday.

I was in search of three items. A cheap DVD player for the bedroom, paper towels and double A batteries. My scavenger hunt was successful and quick. Since I was in a store that sold in bulk quantities, I was able to procure more than enough batteries and paper towels to last at least 6 months.

I threw my purchases on the self check out conveyor belt and began tallying up the damage, patiently waiting for the computer to tell me what to do next. As a sign of good customer service, there are always attendants hovering around the self check out aisles ready to assist if needed. I was not in need of assistance however the male attendant decided to make a comment regarding my purchase.

Our exchange follows:

Bulk Store Attendant (BSA): Interesting grouping of items.

Wicked: Really? How so?

BSA: What do you need all these batteries for? (His question ends with a sneer)

Wicked: What do you think I need them for?

BSA: I asked first.

Wicked: Indeed. They are for Bob. He’s been getting a good workout lately.

BSA: (His face the deepest shade of red) Oh…um…it’s really none of my business…

Wicked: You asked and I answered, have a great day.

There are valid reasons I do not enjoy shopping; however this particular encounter was entertaining.


Phillip said...

No you di int!!!!!

Hysterical. This is the exact reason you are WICKED!

femme d'espoir said...

hee hee hee. love it.

Dwayne said...

Don't you love embarassing people who think they're going to embarrass you? Great story.

Wicked H said...

Phillip: I do earn my title.

Femme: No applause, please throw $$

Dwayne: Thanks!

HotForSimon said...

You go girl!!!

Reminds me the one time I was out with an ex of mine. For whatever dumbass reason, he had "13 1/2" tattoed on the top of his hand. It stood for 12 jurors, 1 judge, and a half-assed chance...(((yes, he'd done some time...LOL))) Anyway, we're going through a checkout line at a restaurant or something and this woman sees his him a once over, and says "WHAT is 13 1/2"?? Without missing a beat, he replies "my dick size, wanna see"??

Talk about three shades of red...LOL

And no...he wasn't even close, just in case you were wondering....LOL

Wicked H said...

HFS: I do believe you trumped my TMI with his. SNORT!

Amy said...

WOO HOO!!!! HAHAHA! That was GREAT!!!!

t2ed said...

The only thing that could possibly make that story better?

Make them D batteries.

Bob, meet Assbag. Assbag, Bob.