Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Wax on, Wax Off

After today, I now understand why my sister, the brain surgeon, cringes anytime someone picks her brain regarding medical conditions during her off time. (Pun not intended but sometimes I just crack myself up!)

I took the day off to visit my favorite dentist. He has the typical open floor plan. The two exam chairs in the rear of the office are separated only by a glorified partition that houses various and sundry dental equipment. In other words, whatever is going on in chair one is easily heard by me in chair two. I cannot see who is in chair one but I did make a concerted effort after the following scenario:

While lounging uncomfortably in my chair one, I am listening to the conversation between the patient in chair two and Missy, the worlds most gregarious dental assistant.

Missy: So I noticed you were walking funny as I brought you back here, what’s going on?

Chair Two Occupant (CTO): Groan, long story....

Missy: I LOVE stories, we got nothing but time. Did you forget which dentist you were visiting?

CTO: Well the Reader’s Digest version goes like this; new girlfriend in the picture, she’s into uh grooming. Well, you get the idea....

Missy: Grooming? What did she do, ask you to wax your back or something?

CTO: Um, yea. Something like that.

Missy: (Now with checking on me) How you doing Wicked?

WH: (using hand gestures because I am biting into a mold of my entire mouth) O.K.

Missy: (leaning in to whisper) Did you hear about the back waxing?

WH: (continuing on with the gestures and shaking my head and point to the nether regions)

Missy: What?? Ohhhhhhhhhhh. (Now talking over the partition to CTO) Hey, we think you are walking funny due to a hinterland accident. Are we close????

CTO: (Audible groaning).....

WH: (I have to pull the mold out of my mouth to keep from choking on my laughter)

Missy: (Now back on CTO’s side) Well how bad is it? Anything we can help you with? You better be in love with this new girl, third degree burns are just not worth it.

WH: I can suggest silvadene cream with a light dressing till it begins to heal and then if you must groom, maybe Neat or Nair might be the way to go.

CTO: Um, oh thanks. How do you spell the name of the cream? And not only is she no longer in the picture, I will be keeping my bits furry as the big guy upstairs intended!

I honestly did not know I’d have that much fun at the dentist today. I was unable to see what he looked like but I cold hear from his gait that he was most definitely limping.


Humor Girl said...

Nothing like someone else's crotch burn to make the dentist visit a little more tolerable... lol

Blueyes said...

LOL, sounds like he might've gotten a wax when he just needs to shave? Either way maybe he needs to not find girls like that anymore for his own health safety lol

Karina said...

Oh My God!!! I'm sitting here in my office with tears streaming down my face from trying so hard NOT to laugh out loud. That has to be one of the funniest "dentist" converstaions I've ever heard of.

Beckie said...

OMG, I can't believe he actually admitted what the problem was! FUNNY!

The CEO said...

There are some things you just don't do for women. Trimming is one thing, waxing is another story. Sometimes, you just say NO.

Frances said...

Just getting my eyebrows done makes me want to bludder.
Poor fellow.
Though honestly I laughed for about five minutes after I read it.
Take care,

sophie said...

Oh my goodness! It's always nice to be entertained while having dental work! Too funny!

qualcosa di bello said...

ok, i thought the other post was funny... but this...
"keeping my bits furry as the big guy upstairs intended!" holy cow!!

i want to go to THIS dentist! i certainly would be able to override my irrational fears under these conditions :D

Chicka said...

Somehow that'd make a root canal fall into the "not so bad" department.

Weary Hag said...

Let's hope they never create an open-floor plan at the proctologist's office.

We wouldn't even need audio!!