Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Romeo, Where For Art Thou Pants?!?!

For Christmas, I purchased four tickets to the American Ballet Theatre’s production of Romeo and Juliet. It was to be a cultural bonding experience for the females of my family. For those of you keeping track, my mother opted out of this event. Therefore; it was I, both sisters, Brain Surgeon and Selfish Countessa, and my ten year old niece, Little Mermaid. As a side, HFS was in town so she was also introduced to the wonderful world of ballet.

HFS and I met the rest of the gang at the Kennedy Center. Little Mermaid was very excited. If I am not mistaken it was her first professional ballet performance. She has danced and seen The Nutcracker but this was the first professional ballet company offering.

As the lights went down and the dancers appeared on the stage, Little Mermaid visibly flinched in her seat. She immediately leaned over to me and said "Um, they aren’t wearing any PANTS! Where are their pants?" I assured Mermaid that they were wearing tights. She replied, "but I can see EVERYTHING! It wasn’t like this in Nutcracker." By now she has her right arm extended in front of her fingers pointed to the left, shielding her view. "They need longer jackets if they aren’t going to wear pants!" I told her that these were the costumes for this show and she needed to get past this obstacle. She said that she would and lowered her arm and enjoyed the presentation.

In her defense, these young men were well endowed. Their man parts were expertly wrangled leaving nothing to the imagination. Little Mermaid became entranced with the story and in the end forgot about the wardrobe malfunction. HFS declared her love of wrangled man parts.

Oh, to be cultured.

13 comments:

Chandira said...

Oh Little Mermaid, you have so much to learn about enjoying a good ballet.. ;-)

Debby said...

That is just soooo adorable!! She does have quite a bit to learn about the finer points of enjoying the show though.

HotForSimon said...

I'm still trying to figure out what sort of apparatus they use to wrangle those "male parts" while they jump 18 ft in the air, spin around three times and land on their toes.

Homo Insapiens said...

The only reason any of you were able to see the ballet at all is that the FCC has not figured out how to put a 5 second delay into a show performed in front of a live audience....yet.

Rude Cactus said...

Ha! That's great. And sometimes? Being cultured means not wearing any pants.

Wicked H said...

I am just hoping I haven't scarred the kid for life. Sheesh, this Aunt business is difficult! Also loads of FUN!

Little Mermaid said...

im not scared ,but next time get a ballet where they wear pants

Cat said...

That is HILARIOUS! Hmmm... truthfully, It reminds me of my reaction to the, er, "wrangled male parts" I blushingly viewed at my very first wrestling match in high school. DUDE. My date later that evening with the well-endowed young man I watched wrestle that day? I've got one word for you: UN!COMFORTABLE! (with a heaping side of awkward. )

I'm glad the Little Mermaid was eventually able to enjoy herself. I'm jealous. All those wrangled male parts, dancing and shizz... WOO!

:)

Chandira said...

I think Little Mermaid's in the minority on the pants issue! Sorry Little Mermaid.. ;-)

HotForSimon said...

I think her attitude will change about the no pants thing...just give her a few years! LOL

zeldafitz said...

We love men with packages so big UPS won't deliver 'em.

Wicked H said...

Amen Zelda!

Mirty said...

You need an occasional guy without pants to keep the arts alive....