Dear Office Larcener:

At first I thought what you were doing had one purpose, to annoy your fellow staff. Now I realize that you have a serious problem.

There are many avenues still open to you if you would simply come forward, admit you have a problem, then we can get you the help you definitely need. The longer you continue on this spree, the uglier it will get for you. You know the drill, stop while you still have a fighting chance to use your monkey as a bargaining tool.

Forget that we have individuals walking around with prescribed controlled substances in their possession. Forget that those individuals really shouldn’t be on the clock while under the influence of said substances. Perhaps they are not. I surely hope not. All this does not negate the fact that you have turned our work place into an unsafe zone.

If it comes to drug testing your jig will be up in 24 hours. Then being unemployed will be the least of the evils you will endure.

I implore you, take the opportunity to turn yourself in and use the system to get the help before the addiction completely takes over. It can’t possibly be worth it. Unfortunately for you, I believe you don’t currently have the ability to see that far in the future.