Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Can You Hear Me Now?

Recently it was my turn to be supportive of my older sister the Brain Surgeon. As life does, it threw her a slight curve and she had to take the role of patient. No need to panic, all is well.

While waiting for my sister to get through her minor surgical procedure, I had the displeasure of sharing the Ambulatory Surgery Center waiting room with one other person. We all deal with stress in different ways. Suffice it to say that the gentleman in the waiting room deals with stress by remaining connected. Who needs three cell phones? Seriously! This guy had one blue tooth dangling off his ear, one on his belt and the other in his hand. I thought the folks in NYC were terrific multi taskers until I spent two quality hours with Mr. Connected.

Not only was he able to conduct three simultaneous phone conversations he was also able to follow his stories on TV. So much so that during key scenes of One Life to Live and General Hospital he was able to stop his conference calls temporarily and focus on plot lines.

He was able to solve the following problems during his wait:

* Arranged child care for the baby
* Line up 8 detail jobs across the bridge(Bay Bridge) which would earn him $500 each
* Give one of his family members incorrect directions to the Surgery Center
* Use his pocket knife to clean his nails
* Continue to give wrong directions to the Surgery Center
* Figured out who attacked the female character on the stretcher on One Life to Live
* Gave up on directions and handed one of the cell phones to the receptionist who guided the family member to the Center
* Received a recipe for soup from one call; simple soup - chicken necks simmered in water
* Attempted and failed to help someone with homework, “wait for your Mama to get home”

Oy! I was exhausted just listening to him. Although he was a great distraction.


wallofdenial said...

Is it me????? Or do they build hospitals on time warps? What is it about medical waiting rooms that makes time slow down?

Clarisse Teagen said...

Hahahaha. He sounds like a wife :P

t2ed said...

And some people wonder why I carry a book instead of a cell phone.

Nutcracker Sweet 54 said...

Thanks Wicked for picking me up...if I wasn't feeling so sick from the anesthisia I would have cut that man's voice box out. He was so bleeping loud!!!! God help his wife or whomever she was....glad he left before I could harm him :(

Wicked H said...

WOD: Where you been? Good to see you. Love to the family!!

Clarisse: Ha! You're right. Glad I am single!!!

t2ed: You are a wise. Even Mr. Connected mentioned you.....

NS54/BS/Sis: You know, I was impressed that you could focus in on him in your dilaudid haze. He was unaware of impending doom. Muhahahahaha.

Glad you are feeling better!

The CEO said...

I just sat in a surgical center waiting to hear about my wife's surgery. Frankly, I'm more relieved to hear that BS is OK. You go girl!

Bradley said...

That is so funny! I love the whole bit about him giving wrong directions. I feel like some people need to prioritize and let some tasks go.

I know when my shows are on I'd much prefer to block out the rest of the world.

Solomon said...

I bet he was just pretending to talk on those three phones at the same time. :D