Thursday, May 03, 2007

Helpful Hints from Wicked H; Long Live the Queen Edition

Apparently her Royal Highness will be visiting our area starting today. In an effort to show the Queen that we Americans have a little decorum, I’d like to share a few Queen related etiquette items.

Bowing and curtsying are no longer acceptable. When meeting the Queen; a simple nod of the head is sufficient. We are to refer to her as Ma’am. Take her lead when it comes to shaking her hand. If she extends the royal hand, grasp it gently. Those fingers are valuable, no sense causing any type of injury. For the topic of small talk, keep it simple. Ask her about the Grand Children; however bringing up their love lives or drunken debauchery, probably not a good idea. If you run out of things to talk about, ask her about that sugar cube that she is rumored to carry in her pocket book.

My invitation must have been lost in the mail, I am sure that is the only reason I was not invited to any of the events surrounding her royal visit. So, if any of you are privileged enough to attend, let the rest of us commoners know how it went.

One last thing if you see her and must wave, remember all digits pointed up as if you were inserting a light bulb into a fixture.


t2ed said...

Are we allowed to ask about how inbreeding leads to recessive genes and poor health?

All right, I'll stick to "Why aren't you in the Harry Potter movies?"

Wicked H said...

t2ed: I triple dog dare you!!!!

Miss Britt said...

How the heck did you not get invited? Doesn't she know you SPA?

Wicked H said...

Brittski: I KNOW!!!! The nerve of that Royal Wench!

Frances said...

Ever see the I Love Lucy episode where Lucy plots to meet the Queen?
Your post reminded me of it.
Should she pass through Manhattan's Upper West Side I will refrain from curtsying - just a simple How are you Liz? and the wave.
Take care,