Friday, December 17, 2004

Tis the Season…..

..for wacko shoppers.

It is not a secret that I may be one of a few females on the planet who dislikes, no hates, shopping. For me to be able to go out and procure seasonal gifts is a big deal. I must strike when the shopping mood hits. I have been known to lose that mood even before I get to the store. If that happens, I just turn around and go back home.

This brings me to last years shopping excursion. A local chain department store had a big deal, Ram-a-lama-ding-dang sale. The store was open till midnight. I purposely waited to arrive at the store after 10:30 pm thinking all the normal people who had to get up for work the next day would have already left. That’s what I get for thinking. So there I was with my shopping mood in full force. I was prepared for the crowds and people bumping into me and trying to navigate around the tightly spaced racks of stuff. I was happily going about my gift procurement minding my own business. I had picked up a sweater and was holding it at eye level, trying to decide if my sister would like it. When all of a sudden I find myself wrestling with a much shorter woman (MSW) who has a firm grasp on the hem of the sweater. She is pulling with all her might. Here then is our exchange:

Wicked H: (while swiftly yanking the sweater back into my possession) Do you mind?
MSW: I want that sweater!!
Wicked H: Did you notice that I was in possession of the sweater when you tried snatching it away?
MSW: I didn’t notice that.
Wicked H: Oh, did you think the sweater was levitating magically?
MSW: ( stupid stare)
Wicked H: Lady, as you can see, there is a whole rack right next to where you are standing with the exact sweater.
MSW: I want that one.
Wicked H: If you don’t back off, you are going to die!
MSW: (while taking 10 steps backwards) Well! Happy holidays to you too.
Wicked H: Yea, yea…BITE ME!

The Holidays bring out the best in everyone, don’t they? Be careful shopping out there! You never know which store and what type of mood I’ll be in. I have thought about online shopping, but I have waited too long, yet again.

1 comment:

HotForSimon said...

You would not have fared well with HFS Jr and myself tonight.

I'm standing in line, waiting to pay for my ONE item of clothing, and the woman in front of me must have tried to pull a fast one, because her jogging suit had a 1x bottom and a 2x top...a definite no-no in the eyes in the cashier. So, she calls for help to the register. Here comes what could possibly be the slowest woman in all of the land, and she is sent to search for the bottoms, size 2x, to match the top.

We wait.

And wait.

Finally I said to the lady, "is that all you have?" and look at the cashier like WTF? She finally gets a fucking clue and checks me out.

I bet that other woman is still waiting for her matching pants.

I hate Xmas shopping.