Sunday, October 17, 2004

Mexican Hat Dance

Well we have good news and bad news. The good news is that I did not perform the Mexican Hat Dance at the shower. The bad news is that there was NO marguerita machine. RP, I am going to buy one and you are the first invited to break it in, deal?

More god news: no Bridal shower games - I knew there was a God. Bad news: no bride’s maid dresses in site. (Less than 3 weeks to W-day)Now you see I took this as good news and volunteered to opt out of the whole proceedings. I quickly found out that offer was taken as bad news. Bridezilla was not amused. Well, neither am I but why not make the best of a situation? I told the group of “maids” that we should all go and get burgundy bed sheets and make togas. The dress that we all ordered is strapless so it seemed like a good idea. Strangely, only my older sister and I found this amusing. Clearly, I need to hang out with women with better senses of humor. Oh wait, the women I was surrounded by believe in the archaic wedding ritual nonsense. Of course they’d have no sense of humor. Whatever.

At our Bridal party luncheon today we had the usual polite conversations and very delicious food. Bridezilla handed out our gifts; burgundy stoned dangly earrings. They’d go great with the togas. I talked about hiring 2 midgets to hold up my bodacious ta-tas. The other well-endowed bride’s maid asked if I could get a deal on 2 pair of midgets? I told her I’d look into it. Then the less endowed maids talked about how best to pad their misfortune. Some are opting for water balloons, others for socks. Our waiter was highly amused. Good times!

All in all it was a decent weekend. Friday was spent shopping and preparing all the food for the Shower. If I never see another tortilla wrap, it will be too soon. Then there was the discussion of how to decorate. Who knew there were so many freakin options? We got it all done. Everyone seemed to enjoy the day, there was little food left. As far as I know, we haven’t poisoned anyone. My game plan was if the doorbell rang and the woman had a gift in tow, she gained access to the party. I only knew maybe 10 people there; as for the rest I truly didn’t care. When will I ever lay eyes on these strangers again? Well I might run into them the night I model the burgundy toga but beyond that, not my problem.

I am getting too old for this much, ahem, excitement on the weekends. Maybe I should reserve my room now at Shady Pines Rest Home for Spinsters. Yep, good idea.


Anonymous said...

RP %Wicked H: Sorry, I cancelled the Margarita Machine. I didn't think BrideZilla and her group would appreciate it. However, when my group of friends are coming over for a shindig you will be the first to get an invite to partake of the Margarita Machine......Well Wicked, you spoke of us not poisoning anyone.....I figure the arsenic I chose for BrideZilla, a slow acting brand ,should be taking effect just about now! That will teach her not to appreciate my crafty talents!!We pulled it off, but she (BrideZilla) plucked my last nerve. God help our future brother-in-law (I wonder if the guy is a saint or insane??).....nutcrackesweet 54

HotForSimon said...

(sarcasm) I'm soooo sorry I missed it! (/sarcasm)


Seriously though, some people need to learn to laugh, it's good for the soul.

Carrie said...

What the heck is it about weddings that makes women loose their sense of humor somewhat, if not loose their sh*t completely over some petty detail?

My former friend Bridezilla had a complete meltdown at least once a week, over the most ridiculous nonsense ever. I lost all respect for her after all that horrible behavior, and it made other annoying parts of her personality, that I once glossed over, stand in bas relief from her good qualities.

Hope you are able to salvage the relationship better than I was.

Wicked H said...

Me too Carrie. I will keep you posted. It's really weird to see how this is affecting everyone in my family. I am pretty sure it will be the last wedding.

Anonymous said...

I really have never understood the Bridezilla thing. I had two wedding parties, only two weeks apart, and in completely different continents, and never felt like my life depended on any party arrangement. All I wanted was to have a good time. And I sure did. Best parties of my life. I hope your sister's party is as fun and that she realizes how silly she's been.

- Jo

PS: By the way, it was the same guy. No bigamy here. *LOL*