Well we have good news and bad news. The good news is that I did not perform the Mexican Hat Dance at the shower. The bad news is that there was NO marguerita machine. RP, I am going to buy one and you are the first invited to break it in, deal?
More god news: no Bridal shower games - I knew there was a God. Bad news: no bride’s maid dresses in site. (Less than 3 weeks to W-day)Now you see I took this as good news and volunteered to opt out of the whole proceedings. I quickly found out that offer was taken as bad news. Bridezilla was not amused. Well, neither am I but why not make the best of a situation? I told the group of “maids” that we should all go and get burgundy bed sheets and make togas. The dress that we all ordered is strapless so it seemed like a good idea. Strangely, only my older sister and I found this amusing. Clearly, I need to hang out with women with better senses of humor. Oh wait, the women I was surrounded by believe in the archaic wedding ritual nonsense. Of course they’d have no sense of humor. Whatever.
At our Bridal party luncheon today we had the usual polite conversations and very delicious food. Bridezilla handed out our gifts; burgundy stoned dangly earrings. They’d go great with the togas. I talked about hiring 2 midgets to hold up my bodacious ta-tas. The other well-endowed bride’s maid asked if I could get a deal on 2 pair of midgets? I told her I’d look into it. Then the less endowed maids talked about how best to pad their misfortune. Some are opting for water balloons, others for socks. Our waiter was highly amused. Good times!
All in all it was a decent weekend. Friday was spent shopping and preparing all the food for the Shower. If I never see another tortilla wrap, it will be too soon. Then there was the discussion of how to decorate. Who knew there were so many freakin options? We got it all done. Everyone seemed to enjoy the day, there was little food left. As far as I know, we haven’t poisoned anyone. My game plan was if the doorbell rang and the woman had a gift in tow, she gained access to the party. I only knew maybe 10 people there; as for the rest I truly didn’t care. When will I ever lay eyes on these strangers again? Well I might run into them the night I model the burgundy toga but beyond that, not my problem.
I am getting too old for this much, ahem, excitement on the weekends. Maybe I should reserve my room now at Shady Pines Rest Home for Spinsters. Yep, good idea.