Thursday, March 20, 2008

Installing a Husband

(I am single, however this had me snorting out loud - Enjoy!)

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.

DEAR DESPERATE:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.

9 comments:

Roxiticus Desperate Housewives said...

That was the best post I have seen all day, maybe in a week! Thanks for the laugh.

Roxiticus Desperate Housewives

The CEO said...

Clearly the problem was the 1.0 version. You need o upgrade to the 3.0 version.

YogaDawg said...

One of the funniest bits I've seen on a blog. Thanks.

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Priceless! Absolutely priceless.

Frances said...

Where do you find this stuff.
Too funny.
Much bloglove,
Frances

Liane said...

That was awesome. lol. Gonna share that on my blog :D

blprice said...

VERY funny, coming from a single (unmarried) male I found it to be quite hilarious

Anonymous said...

^^Thanks!!

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