Carbon Dating

Netflix enabled me to take a very nostalgic trip down memory lane this weekend. It was the perfect antidote for what ailed me. We lost a very dear friend of the family this week and I needed some sort of distraction.

I just finished a semi marathon viewing of one of my favorite police dramas. The show was The Mod Squad and “Pete Cochran” was my first ever TV crush. Comparing today’s police dramas to the Squad is very painful. Primitive police work of the late sixties, early seventies; forensics weren’t even invented.



If you have some time to waste, find one of your old favorites and watch them. Try to remember what endeared you to the show in the first place. Good ole Pete with his ascots and bell bottoms was the right dose of quirk I needed.

Do you remember your first TV crush? I’d love to hear all about it.

Note to Self

If I make the calculated error of attending next year’s Easter Brunch at my Parent’s neighborhood Country Club, remember to keep comments regarding the mangy Easter bunny costume to a low whisper.

Apparently, the Country Club President was in ear shot.

In my defense, the Bunny did look like he was suffering from the Mange. I suggest the Prez invest in a new bunny costume next year. My niece walked away with a clump of fur along with every other child who participated in the obligatory photo op.

People, I cannot make this stuff up.

Installing a Husband

(I am single, however this had me snorting out loud - Enjoy!)

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.

DEAR DESPERATE:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.

Randomness Tag

I have been tagged by QDB to list six random items about myself. Since I have a bit of free time on my hands this week, I decided to play along.

1. My days of being everyone’s nurturer/caretaker are gone. My Mom told me a long time ago that I need to learn to be a little selfish. It’s against my nature, so along with many other sage pieces of advice passed onto me from Mom I simply dismissed the idea. A few events happened over a course of a few years and finally my eyes opened. I have eliminated the counterproductive drama from my life. Although I don’t believe myself to be narcissistic, I try to think of my needs first and all else second. It has taken more than a few years to understand and trust this new way of thinking but I am a better person for it.

2. I may be one of a very few females who dislikes shopping. Let me clarify, I dislike shopping in stores. I love the ease and comfort of pointing and clicking my way to bargains and treasures online. The thought of spending my cherished free (non-working) time fighting someone over a parking space or playing bumper carts in a grocery store, sucks the life right out of me. Those of you, which includes both my sisters and Mom, who find solace in shopping, kudos to you. I simply do not find anything relaxing about the whole ordeal.

3. I am an avid dog lover. However, the loss of my golden retriever is still so very painful that I don’t think I will ever get another dog. Dexter and I had 13 wonderful years together but I will never forget the pain I felt the day I had to take him to be put down. I know many of us have had terrific pets/furry children in our lives but he can never be replaced. Also I don’t think I have the emotional strength to ever have to go through losing a pet in that way again. Maybe I am a coward.

4. I don’t have any children of my own but I am thoroughly enjoying being the best Aunt I can be. It amazes me that my two nieces who are the brightest lights in my life have inherited some of my traits. Look at these faces, how can you do anything but smile and fall in love? They are cousins to each other but can pass for sisters.


5. My friend Pet Whisperer and I are on a quest to find the perfect chocolate martini in the Metro DC area. Seriously, no joke. We have compiled all our research into a spread sheet. So far the best one served to us was consumed in an out of the way German restaurant in East Jesus Virginia, who knew? Our typical analysis involves a non traditional martini before our meal, wine with the meal and a chocolate martini for dessert. Do not drink and drive folks, always have a designated driver.

6. Laughter is the best medicine on the planet. I make sure I enjoy a hearty belly laugh at least once a day, more like once an hour. I am known as the spirit lifter at work. I am frequently called upon to make someone laugh. Laughter comes easier when you learn how not to sweat the small stuff.

I am not going to tag anyone specifically but if you’d like to partake, feel free.

Bi-Annual Respite

Forgive me Interwebs for it has been more than a couple of weeks since I have blogged.

You see although work has been the best it ever has, the load was dragging me down. Trust me when I tell you that this is not a whine, simply a description. It has taken 4 months to stabilize the new administration along with it’s support forces. The timing could not be better as my vacation has rolled around. I am ecstatic to report that I will be on another of my no itinerary vacays for the next week. After which I predict things around here will return back to normal or abnormal as the case may be.

I am counting on all of you to behave yourselves; you know who you are. I have my peeps around to make sure that there is no excessive fun being had without my involvement.

Capiche?