Thursday, May 28, 2009

Ring Around the Hallway

I work in an office building with the standard layout; the elevator is in the center of the hallway forming a square column. It’s a five story building with perhaps six to ten suites on each floor depending on the size of the business.

I have twelve suitemates and lately they’ve been grumbling about the goings on in the hallway. You see the restrooms flank the elevator one on either side. It appears that there a couple of women of Asian descent who circle the hallway three times a day. You can set your clock by their walks. Militant strollers we have coined them.

Generally how one wants to stretch their legs on any given day should not be an issue. However, these women who are small in stature walk side by side which would also not be odd except that they are on their cell phones chatting up a storm. It has been determined by my suitemates that one may be conversing in Mandarin and the other Vietnamese. (Apparently, I work with linguists, who knew?) The point is this; they are so engrossed with their conversations that they are unaware of the traffic jam they create. They move rather swiftly on their rounds however if you encounter them at the entrance of the restroom they do not yield the right of way. This is causing great discord for the entire floor.

Once while waiting for the elevator they passed me ten times. I’ve watched the group of engineers also with offices on the floor try to suggest that they walk single file to no avail. I have decided that this is their way of retaliating against perhaps a smoker who gets a few breathing treatments in per day. Others in my office are dying to know why they simply do not exercise outdoors. For some reason we are reluctant to ask. Perhaps it is because none of us speaks either Mandarin or Vietnamese.

The quandaries of life such as they are, I have altered my restroom times. I don’t have the energy to dance with the militant strollers. Suggestions anyone?


t2ed said...

Mandarin and Vietnamese are both such lovely languages.

I used to hit a restaurant by my work. But two Vietnamese women were always there eating and conversing loudly. I just quit going as it was so loud I couldn't even read the paper.

How 'bout some caltrops dropped strategically in the hallway? Or some piano wire strung strategically at short person neck level?

If that's too violent ( blame all those Mem. Day war movies), how about a bull horn that instructs them to disperse or you'll release the hounds.

That always works on our neighbor's ginormous pack 'o kids.

TC said...

I work in a retail store. I was just wondering the other day when people used to talk on the phone. Now they do it while shopping and sometimes while using the store for exercise (it's a huge store). We've suddenly developed this cell phone culture and cell phone manners are needed. I vote someone asks them to walk single file if they would please since they obviously aren't enjoying each others company unless it's like a 4 way conversation? Good luck.

Jessica The Rock Chick said...

I can't stand when people are standing there talking on cell phones, completely oblivious to everyone around them and blocking the way. It's not that hard to talk on a phone and still be aware of your surroundings....geez!!! I found you through blogexplosion and I'm glad! I'm a "ranter", too! I'm going to go through some more of your posts.

Trooper Thorn said...

Wireless speakers often interfere with cell phone reception. You could stick a pair int he hallway, turn them on, and even without playing music, they shoudl disrupt the conversations to the point the offenders will move elsewhere.

The CEO said...

Damn, you're becoming famous. My evil mind says build a brick protusion near the restrooms so they must file by single file, or go to the restroom with a Doberman. Not Google, a real Doberman. They will notice, the Doberman will stand almost as tall as they are. No problem going to the restroom, they won't run over the dog. And they are the friendliest dogs.....

Wicked H said...

t2ed: I can always count on you for the best advice. I am going to purchase supplies this weekend, will report back.

TC: Thanks, we keep trying to converse with them but go un-noticed.

Jessica: Welcome, rants are always cleansing - right?

Trooper Thorn: That is brilliance on a stick, I have an IT dept at my disposal will put them to good use. Many thanks!

CEO: Bricks AND a Doberman. Check!

Vinay Rai said...

there is always a cross connection between the people talking on the phone and people finding their way around the hallway. It is annoying sometimes to see people stopping and blocking others path while being on a call.

Trooper Thorn said...

I'm sure IT will be happy to "geek" a solution for you.