Tuesday, May 31, 2011

References

My soon to be 16 year old niece has given my name as a reference for her part time job at a church.

First of all, almost 16 – OMG!!!

Secondly, has she met me?

I called Lil Wicked to make sure I had my ducks in a row before returning the call to the humble servant of the Holy Something or Another Church. Our conversation went something like this:

Lil Wicked: Hey, whassup?

Wicked H: I have a very serious and important message from Louise of Holy Something or Another Church. You haven’t sent a complaint about me straight to the Pope, have you?

Lil Wicked: What?? No! She needs to know about me since I have been stacking and un stacking chairs every Sunday.

Wicked H: Haven’t you been doing this for a while?

Lil Wicked: Yes, not sure why she wants the reference now.

Wicked H: No problem, are there any topics off limits?

Lil Wicked: Like what?

Wicked H: Well, is it alright if I let Louise know what your stripper name is? I can fib and let her know that is strictly a strip club for Holy Rollers.

Lil Wicked: (uncontrolled snorting)

Wicked H: I’ll take that as a yes then. Good Luck on Finals!

That kid, she can count on me!

2 comments:

sophie said...

Firstly, Lil is not *allowed* to be almost 16. She is immediately grounded until further notice. Secondly, giving a reference is kinda like being on the witness stand. Answer only the questions asked. Absolutely do not volunteer her stripper name. (Unless it is a really, really good one. Mine stinks.)

Wicked H said...

Sophie: I know, it is crazy. Maybe she will listened to you grounding her - I'll let her know. I will take your advice on the rest ;-)